Hopeless
by GothicLolita333
Summary: When I was younger, I thought that life has no sense. Having a dream, a wish, and a sense in life, to give your life for it, to want it, to dream it, and to hope, for me it was just a mistake.  SasuNaru
1. Chapter 1:The Promises

Title: Hopeless

Warnings: This story can contain: rape, blood, swearing, and other actions like that.

If you don't approve of the story then please don't read further. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to the Naruto series.

AN: Hello. This is my new story, and I hope people will like it, I first wanted to make it a one shot, but then I changed my mind because I have a lot of ideas.

On this story, the other ones, please accept my apologies but I read to many detective stories and I have inspiration for this and the others are just blocked, I am sorry, after I pass this writers block, I will post others, otherwise, 'Dreaming you' is going well.

Now, if you don't like how this story is going then don't read it, I said at the warnings, this will be different from all my other stories.

And I really enjoy writing it. Well, I will stop and next time I will make this 'AN' smaller.

Now enjoy:

When I was younger, I thought that life has no sense. I have strongly believed that it is all in vain, and I wasn't thinking about eating or sleeping, I was thinking about hoping.

Having a dream, a wish, and a sense in life, to give your life for it, to want it, to dream it, and to hope, for me it was just a mistake.

Because I never could understand, I lost my hope, entirely.

I even lost the hope to hope that someone will come and that it will save me.

I've made mistakes just to keep that hope.

I think that my single ambition that I ever had was to never let myself hope again.

Hopeless

Chapter 1: The promises

I was an orphan. And in my orphanage were many kids. Kids that have dreams and that read and they always had been happy and they always smiled.

I was the totally opposite of them.

"Someone wants to adopt you!"

This woman works here and I never understand how she is. She takes care of us, brings us food, cleans and she read us stories.

When a child is about to be adopted she comes to that child that one family wants to adopt and she smiles to him and she says just that.

But if the family decides to adopt the child, she will end up at the door, hugging the respective child and cries because she says she will miss him, but in the same time she says that those are tears of happiness because she or he found a home.

I never understood her.

"I don't care."

"Now, come on."

She took my hand and led me on the huge corridor that was filled with beds which had kids in the bed, beside the bed, under the bed.

"Oh, hello there."

A smiling woman that has two kids and wants to adopt another and the father looks a little severe, but what they want is not what I want.

"Your name is Naruto, no?"

"Maybe."

The woman seemed a little confused, but her smile hasn't disappeared. The woman which led me here, looked at me with a expression that says ' don't be rude ', even so, I already do know that if I will say something wrong then I won't be adopted.

"So, what do you like to do the most?"

"I don't like anything."

"He is just shy, in fact, he likes reading a lot."

The woman that tried to lie to her that I really like something smiled at them with encouragement and their smile was wide, and fake.

"I hate to read."

"Naruto, what you say is not true."

"No. What you say is not true. I do not lie. Like you."

The woman lost her smile and looked at me sad.

"Mikoto."

That was the only words that the severe father has spoken, and the woman just looked at him sad.

And after that, I never saw them again.

"You have done it again, Naruto! You will never be adopted! And as punishment, you won't get dinner!"

The woman yelled at me and all I did was to stare at her.

And I asked myself: 'Why is she upset?'

I didn't want to lie, I am sick of lies. And the reality was that I tried to read a book which she gave me and I had read it.

And I swear that I will never read another book, never again.

I always had nightmares, so I locked my imagination.

She always read a story in the Sunday's for the kids and I took care, so that I will never be there.

The room was huge and loud and those kids always played with something, they read and then they dreamed.

I never wanted to sleep, sitting on the bed, looking outside the window at the stars and at the moon.

I've always ruined all the possibilities to be adopted. I've always been alone and I had never spoken. I've always said just cold words to everybody, just to leave me alone.

I always did something bad before the time to read the Saturday story, just to don't hear that silly happy story.

My dreams had died along with my parents. They promised me that they will always protect me, no matter where they are.

But now, they are too far, they are not in this world anymore, so they lied.

I will never lie for someone, just to make that person feel better.

I will never hope that I will have a happy ending.

I will never read another story.

And I will never dream about a better life, about someone's help, about anything else.

'I will never lie, hope, read or dream, never again. '

One day, I thought that all my promises are complete.

But the woman that always takes care of us had cried in that night. I saw her cry for the first time in that way. She didn't know that I was there, but I was.

I entered in her room, because the door was open, and I didn't thought that she would be in there, and when I saw her, I wanted to go back but a man has closed the door before I could escape, so I hid after a big armchair, staring at her and at him.

"You've done it again! You know how much I tried! And you never do anything! Why did I marry you? You're just another useless woman!"

He slapped her and then he grabbed her neck tight. The woman is crying and struggling, because the air has left her lungs.

"Let...me...go!"

She managed and said this between her clogged breaths.

He put her on the desk that was behind her and he has ripped her clothes.

He put his middle under her long dress and he pushed back and forward, and he left her neck free, but he pushed her into the wall more.

The woman cried and I saw the blood that flowed on her legs.

The woman cried and yelled for him to stop. He grinned and he almost has laughed in her face.

"It hurts! Stop!"

She yelled and the blood didn't stop, the man smiled and her tears flowed.

He put his lips on her lips and he bit her lips in the process, the blood dripped on the desk surface, as it dripped from her mouth.

The woman tried endlessly times to escape, but the man didn't let her at all.

In the end, she took the statue that could have fallen off the desk after a couple of seconds; she has taken it with her right hand and she hit the head of the man with the statue.

The statue must have been heavy and solid because it was enough to make him unconscious.

Even if the man stays on the ground, unmoving, the woman continued to hit him with the statue on his head. The head has a big scar on the right side, where the woman hit him.

The blood flowed on the floor, under him and beside his head.

The woman begun to cry, and trembled from all the angles from her body.

"I am sorry… I love you…I always loved you but you..."

I stared with wide open eyes at her and at him.

After a while of crying and saying that she is sorry and that she loved him.

She got up and searched in a drawer and discovered a gun.

She sat down beside him and pointed it at her head.

"I will come with you, my love…"

I wanted to stop her with no reason, but I just ran and I stopped when she noticed me.

"What are you doing here?"

She yelled and begun to tremble again, she seemed hysterical and scared, and I just stared.

"You saw everything, didn't you? You saw…"

She looked at the ground once again, where the man stood unmoving and she begun to cry again.

I took another step forward and she looked at me, and then pointed the gun at me.

Trembling hands, and tears, and a voice that broke into wind that came from the window.

"I am sorry…"

I didn't make another step or moved my hands, I have not talked, and I just stared. And she just stood there and cried with the gun pointed at me.

That stood like that a minute or two until the door opened, and someone entered the room, looking at us.

"Ms. Maeko, what happened here?"

"This is not my fault! This is not…"

Her breath was quicker and her face was white as the snow.

"This is…"

He looked at the ground and she begun to yell again.

"This is not my fault!"

She cried and yelled this again and again, with the gun pointed at me.

"Ms. Maeko …"

He said that and made a step closer.

"Don't come! Don't move or …"

She looked at my face, that I am sure it doesn't looks scared, it has no expression.

She cried more and looked in my eyes.

"You, poor child…"

She cried and said my name.

"Naruto."

"What is…?"

Another woman came in and she had some books in her hands but she has dropped them when she looked at us.

"Don't move!"

She didn't point the gun at me anymore. She pointed the gun at them.

"You have gone insane Maeko! Calm down!"

The woman looked at them, at me, and then at the man.

She closed her eyes and put the gun at her head, and said:

"I am sorry."

"Maeko stop!"

They wanted to take her gun before but she pulled the trigger fast, staring in my eyes and the tears fell from her eyes.

She has whispered something with one second before she pulled the trigger but I couldn't understand.

She fell on the man's chest and blood flowed from her head, too.

After when I decided that I never could understand her, I stared at them and then I made another promise to myself.

'I will never fall in love'

I made my final promise.

And this had happened when I had just 7 years old.

To be continued…

Thanks for reading. I will try to be patient but I would be extremely happy if I will get reviews.


	2. Chapter 2:A house, but not a home

I never thought that it could be possible to be all alone in an orphanage, which was once full with kids.

All the children from my wing have been adopted, and I am the only one that now has no family.

The truth is that after Maeko died, the story has spread from ear to ear.

The orphanage has hired another woman to take care of us. But things weren't the same as they were before.

But no one complained, because most of the children found a home, one by one.

But after a while, the story appeared in the news papers, and the orphanage doesn't have many kids remained, but still, I am the youngest one that has remained.

Many of the children had disappeared, without a family to visit before. I didn't care, but even so, I always ruined my chances to be adopted, again and again.

So, after the story spread more, the orphanage became a silent and a cursed place.

The orphanage has been closed. The kids were under the police care and they found for each one of us, a family.

I just waited my turn.

In the end, the police came and I was taken to an office in a police section, where a man made too many calls and talked about a homeless child.

I stood on a wood chair and I stared at him, without any expression on my face.

And after much or less of an hour, he put the phone down and finally, he looked at me even if I stood there enough time for him to look at me, at least once.

His eyes seem to be tired, but he smiled and said to me:

"I found a family for you."

Chapter 2: A house, but not a home

"Oh, what an handsome boy!"

I am now 12 years old. And I was adopted, let me rephrase, I was forced to be adopted.

The family which accepted to adopt a child even if I am not very young, wanted a child from the bottom of their heart, I understood that the woman can't make kids.

She adopted a child which for them was a complete success. The child has the best grades, is well educated, but for me, he looks like a robot, like an empty shell, without feelings.

So, I thought that they decided to change me too.

The family isn't poor at all. Which didn't bother me at all, from the look of things, they seem almost rich.

She bowed her body a little and she put her hands on each shoulder of a small thin boy that is before her.

She looks like a dragon over her prey, controlling him by just touching him.

"So, he is Junichi Matsumoto, I hope you will accept him as your older brother."

I just stared at him and he did the same.

He isn't tall, I think we have the same height, even if he is older, his hair is brown as his eyes and he wears a pair of round glasses.

Somehow we talk without words. Our eyes talk; the woman just stares at us, like she waits for something. But we said nothing.

"I've always liked this name, Junichi, and I think it suits him. So, I understood that your name is Naruto. I wonder… do you like the name Nao?"

"No."

Her smile disappeared and the expression of the child changed too, the face remained the same, but his eyes have a different light.

Her blonde hair seems to threaten his forced shape, two short curly hairs fall from her bake on her face.

"We will fix that. You came just in time, I just finished the dinner, come and eat with us."

The dinner table is round and it's made by a very sophisticated wood, the legs of the table have a model which is different but the table was covered with a white tablecloth that has small models, almost invisible on it.

A man is already sitting at it. I sit on a chair and I just stared at him.

He chews his food like this is his last dinner, and his teeth looked like they will fall, sooner or later.

The woman came beside me and she put something in my plate, but I refused to lose my target, so, I continued to stare at the man.

He could be called a fat man, but he isn't really too fat. His hair is black but he doesn't have much hair anyway, even so, he has a beard which is darker than his hair. I am sure that he isn't very young; his black hair has some white little hairs.

"What?"

The man said, and the woman stopped in that moment to add food in my plate. I am sure that the man is talking with me and I didn't respond, but the woman seemed troubled.

"Dear, you must be polite, he is our new child."

"And?"

The woman seems to be frustrated because of him, but she said nothing. She sits beside him and then she smiled at me and asked:

"Do you like vegetables?"

"No."

"Meat?"

"No."

She seems confused by my answers, but she gave up and begun to eat.

"He is annoying."

The man talked with his mouth full with food and he stared at her and then at me.

"Dear…"

She let her fork down and put her hand on her head, in frustration.

"I want to go in my room to read."

The boy finally talked and then, he excused himself and he walked into a room with a wooden door, closing it behind him.

After a while, the dinner has made signals that it finished, or at least, after the man has finished eating, he disappeared in a room with a glass door, but even if is made by glass, you can't see after it, just shadows which are blurred.

The woman walked around the table and she begun cleaning it, and when she arrived at my plate, she bent down at me and she stared in my eyes and then she talked:

"Why didn't you eat anything?"

"I'm not hungry."

She let her knees on the ground beside my chair, her cream colored skirt, that finishes just a little after her knees rose a little on her legs when she has supported herself in her palms, I stared at her and she begun to cry.

"I thought that if I bring you here, he would be happy, but you..."

She put her hands on her eyes and then she spoke again:

"Is not your fault but this family…"

She put one hand on my blond hair and then on my cheek and then, she spoke again but almost whispering:

"I am sorry, but this isn't a perfect family, you deserve better but this is all that I can give you now, do you understand?"

I nodded and she hugged me and then she rose up and she took the dirty plates, and walked a few steps and then she stared at me, a little authoritative, but in the same time, the tears didn't disappeared:

"You will share the room with Junichi. Now go!"

I did how she told me and I entered in the room, which Junichi entered a while ago.

The boy stood on the bed, which I thought that it is his bed and he reads a book.

He rose up his head from the book, when I entered, but he didn't said nothing.

I entered and I stared at the big room.

There is one single desk, a bookcase, a big closet, another door on the left of the room that I thought that it could be the bathroom and just one bed.

I looked at my luggage, which is positioned on the other side of the bed, which Junichi didn't seem to occupy.

The bed has two nightstands but there was a single lamp on Junichi's side. I took the clothes that were on my side of the bed and I understood that these are my pajamas.

I entered in the bathroom, which isn't special , it is so simple and so clean, like nobody entered in it before, and better ,the whole house looks like nothing is touched, this isn't a home, there are just rooms with insignificant things.

I changed my clothes quickly and I came back in the silent room, I put my other clothes in my luggage, and then I put myself under the blankets.

I stood like that, staring at the ceiling and after a couple of minutes, the room became completely dark, Junichi has turned out the lights.

I heard him, sitting himself on the bed, and then I felt him as he positioned himself far from me, under the blankets.

He turned the light of the lamp on and I stared at him, he still reads.

I felt tired, but I didn't complained, I turned myself, so my back is facing him. And I tried to put myself on the darker part of the room.

I closed my eyes and after a while, he talked:

"The light of the lamp bothers you?"

I opened my eyes and then I responded:

"Yes."

The room is now completely dark, and I realized that Junichi has turned the lamp's light off. I heard him moving a little more, and I understood that he put his book on the night stand, and maybe, his glasses too.

After a while, I heard him whispering:

"Good night."

To be continued…

Thank you for reviews. I know there are a lot of questions, but they will be responded in time, the story will continue. So, even if it's just 'I like it' or 'Post soon'. Tell me something, I just want to know if it really is worth all the thinking I do every day and not to mention that it's 2 in the morning and I write this story, so thank you (already) for the ones who will review.

The next chapter, the action will begin a little so thank you for the patience.


	3. Chapter 3:The Stranger

I understood from what they said that is not normal or good that your first day of school to be at the age of 12.

But, here I am, this is my first day of school or what I should probably say is that this is my first time when I ever entered in a school.

Chapter 3: The Stranger

"Class, he is Naruto Uzumaki, your new colleague and friend, I want you all to treat him well from now on!"

This teacher has a warm voice and a calm face but for me, he is nothing more than another figure.

In this class are many kids, I'm used to have kids around me and to don't talk to them even once, but in my orphanage it was simple, everybody has kept their distance from me, and everyone knew my story, even if I didn't told to anybody anything, here, they don't know me and I don't know them.

„Hello Naruto, I am the class president, my name is Haruno Sakura, but you can just call me Sakura."

The haired pink girl has stretched her hand to me, like she expects me to do something, but what?

„Um...Iruka Sensei, in which bank will he stay?"

I need to think a little about this. So, I didn't let my 'new' mother to change my name, until now, she gave up on that thought. I hope it will remain like this.

And, it isn't normal for me to be here, but I suspected just fine when I thought that she is rich, well, she is, and she even has what she calls 'connections', and because of those connections and her money, I am here, in this class.

„We have just one single empty bank, you will stay there Naruto, just beside Sasuke-kun."

Voices had complained from the entire room, most of them, were girls that are protesting.

"This is my final decision! Now, everybody sit down, and open the books at page 35."

I walk through the noisy classroom, and I stared at the new faces and at the ground when they looked at me.

Most of them did. I always knew how it is to be the 'new kid', I've always been, no matter if I stood with the same people for years, I am always unknown, I am always stared in that way and I never changed that fact, and I don't plan to change it soon, because this is me, and because I would lie, and I do not lie!

My bank is the last one on the row beside the windows. The boy, who I suppose that is Sasuke, is at the seat that is closer to the window, and right now, I just sat myself on my light brown chair.

I didn't look at him and neither did he, and I don't think he even noticed me; he just stares outside, out the window, with a hand under his chin. I just caught a glimpse of him before I sat myself down.

He has black hair, pale skin and a skinny body. I can't see his eyes.

And I don't care.

"Naruto, what studies did you had before?"

I didn't paid attention to what happens, and I was a little surprised for a second when I realized that the teacher was right beside me.

"None."

Many students stared at me when the teacher asked me, but not all of them, but when I responded, I am sure that everybody stares at me, well…everybody, but him.

"None? But you've been to a kindergarten before, right?"

"No."

The class stared at me more intensely, like waiting for something and the teacher seems to look the same.

One thing that has just flied through my mind, I've been learned from the people who had raised me, a thing that cost me many painful nights:

"I told you to shut up! Never speak when you are not asked! Understood? Never! If you even speak when you aren't asked then I will make sure that you will starve to death!"

Why? I don't know, but without my will, I just don't feel like talking about anything, almost never, so, if I am not asked, I won't talk, and I don't like to speak about myself, or about anyone specifically, so in the end, I just answer what I've been asked, and I never lie about my answers.

"Then, where have you been?"

"At the orphanage."

A word could describe this atmosphere, just one, because this is what I received, the word is: Silence.

Somehow, when nobody was paying attention to me, I remembered, the boy that is beside me has looked at me too, when I said that I've been at the orphanage. I don't know why, but I erased the thought, as soon as it came.

I stood in my chair all day long and I stared at the surface of the wooden desk, I stared at the wooden floor, and sometimes, to the teacher that never stopped talking for more than 3 minutes and then he starts talking again.

When I understood that it all ended, everyone begun to pack their things, to put their coats on, and to speak to each other.

I packed my things, and I put my coat on me, and when I was about to get out of the classroom, the teacher spoke to me:

"Naruto, I want to talk to you, it will be quick."

So, in the end, me and the teacher remained, the only ones in the classroom. I've waited for him to speak but he seemed very distracted by the papers that he kept staring at for some minutes.

I sat down and waited and in the end he sat beside me and stared in my eyes.

"Your mother said that you were to a very good kindergarten, that it's from another country and that it will be a little harder in the start, but that you are a very smart kid."

"She is not my mother, and she lied"

The teacher had a sad face, an confused one, this expression I never saw at anyone else, I could named it like being hurt but I never said a lie to him or insulted him so I don't understand what caused his expression. But he spoke again, more just for himself:

"Then, why...And…how?"

He put his hand on his forehead, and stared at me with more hazel confused eyes. And then, after a long silence, he finally spoke:

"Then who are you?"

"Uzumaki Naruto."

The class begins to get used with me, they spoke to me once or twice per day, they introduced themselves to me, but I didn't bother myself to remember all those names.

It all remained the same, the house it feels empty, and that is what I like about it. All the people from this class, school annoy me.

I don't want to talk, I don't want to be here, and I just want to go to that house and to lock in my room.

I like my foster-brother, we don't talk at all, he reads his books and study, eats and sleeps, and I do what I do, we don't interact and that is why even if he is in our room, is like I am alone, that is why, I like to go home.

Here, they want for me to speak, to do things, I understood what school is like, and I don't like it one bit, I just don't care.

They want me to read, to do things which I want to don't do.

But I say nothing and go along with it in my silence.

They all spoke with me, in a way or another, even my step brother, sometimes. Even if it's about asking a pencil or something else, but not him.

Maybe I am a little stupid about this, I don't think about anyone in specifically. So, why?

Why is it that he is the only one I think about in specifically?

He never spoke with me. He doesn't speak with anybody, just with the teacher when he is asked.

One thing made me hate him, he reads, all the time, he is always with a book in his hands or looking outside the window, like he dreams.

I hate him for those things.

What I hate the most, he does, and all that I respect is that he doesn't speak, but just that.

Somehow, sometimes, it annoys me too much. I begun to think that I've gone insane, why do I even think about someone?

So, in this very day, I gave up.

I don't care about him, I don't want to talk to him, I don't want anything from him, so from now on, I will act like he does not exists, and I will never think about him again.

The thought has settled in my mind quick. I am in my chair, and I have to write do some exercises from the book, and the class is pretty noisy, the exercises are pretty hard too so I guess that is the reason why everybody is being so loud.

Just three sentences and I will finish...

"Do you have a pen? Mine has run out of ink."

The one who just spoke...

"Hey! Do you have one?"

"Yes."

I gave him my pen, and I don't have another one, I don't even know why I did that.

'I guess, I panicked.' I just finished that thought slowly in my head and then:

"Everybody, pens down, we will begin to read."

Everybody read their answers and I begun to feel something strange with every passing second, there weren't too many questions left until they will arrive at the questions which I didn't do, and he didn't put me until now.

'I don't have that bad luck, no?'

I just thought that, when:

"Naruto, the next question."

Just the question when Sasuke has asked for my pen.

"I didn't do it."

"What did you do this entire time? Sasuke, help him."

He looks disappointed. I don't know why but this teacher got under my skin, somehow, it makes me feel bad when I do something wrong, but I will never say that out loud.

His voice, his bored figure, it was his fault, I don't know why, but I just realized, I hate this stranger.

To be continued…

Well, it isn't much, and I am not proud of it, it could've been better but I've thought about it a lot and it just turned out that way, I guess I had a problem with this chapter and that's why it didn't turned out how I wanted to be, well anyway, the next chapter will be better, and many interactions, I think I have an idea but I couldn't tell it in this chapter, well anyway, sorry for so much bumbling, is 1 in the morning for god's sake! Well, anyway, tell me what you , Thank you for reading.


	4. Chapter 4:Insanity

Did you ever felt that life is just a circle that you follow, even if you want, even if you don't want? And the problem is that it just takes you from the point where you've started.

It never ends.

This is the question that has crossed through my mind for the last two years.

Chapter 4: Insanity

"Dear, please, stop…"

"Shut the hell up!"

This is the same old fight between my step parents.

I'm not feeling sorry for any of these humans from this house.

My stepfather turned out to be a drunk and unfaithful husband that annoys or concerns my stepmother that has a problem with frustration, and says that she will die from a disease from the frustration which her husband has caused to her mind and soul.

And my stepbrother seems to be careless for his parents like I am.

I don't know if it bothers him but he sure doesn't seem bothered.

And I am not, not even a bit, not at all.

"What is this?"

The bookcase is filled with books, and I don't want to read any of it.

But I need a book for my homework and I found a book that seems different from others.

The boy didn't rose up his eyes from his book.

But for the first time, I spoke, asked something, and I wasn't asked before.

I think is as odd for me as it is odd for him because just now he had realized that I said something.

He came beside me and took the book which I just found and he spoke:

"It's a book that explains the Japanese names, like their meanings. Why?"

"I just found it..."

It was odd.

Anyway, it seems interesting to me.

"Boys, me and your father are going to take dinner in town, don't stay awake too much, it's already 8."

"Yes."

We responded in unison. It became a habit.

She closed the door from our room and after a few seconds I heard the door of the apartment.

And then I realized. Why did she lie every time?

I know, and he knows, that they don't go together. He will be at some bar until morning, and she will go at some friends or something like that.

I put myself on the chair of the desk, and I put the big book on the desk too, and I opened it.

I stood some seconds just wondering myself.

_"So, he is Junichi Matsumoto, I hope you will accept him as your older brother."_

She wanted to change my name, like she wants, so, for sure, she changed his name too, before I came here.

Then, she really searched for the meaning of his name, she is not dumb at all, I looked at he twice and I realized that.

So…Junichi.

It's a Japanese name and it means "obedient one".

Why would you choose your child to be obedient?

But if I look at him, the name, maybe this is the first step to change him in what they want, maybe…

_"I've always liked this name, Junichi, and I think it suits him. So, I understood that your name is Naruto. I wonder… do you like the name Nao?"_

Nao? What Nao means?

Japanese unisex name meaning docile child.

She wanted me to be docile?

That reminds me...

_She cried more and looked in my eyes._

_"You, poor child…"_

_She cried and said my name._

_"Naruto."_

Maeko.

Truthful Child.

Suddenly, the light dissapeared and the dark has replaced it.

„Goodnight."

He does this every time, when he wants to sleep, he just turns off the light, doesn't asks me at all.

But I didn't complained.

I walked to the bed and I put myself under the blankets and before I realized, the clock showed that is 3 in the morning.

And I haven't slept at all.

„Good morning class!"

I am sitting in my chair, with my head on the bank.

I never felt more tired than I feel now.

I tried to fall asleep many times but in the end. I stood awake all night.

If I would only know the reason...

„Naruto, you don't feel well?"

„No, I didn't..."

That reminded me. I found that book but I didn't found the book I needed for today.

„I am just tired."

„You want to go home?"

Better here tired than home.

„No, I am fine."

The teacher has just sigh and walked until he was in the front of the class, and he begun to read something.

I turned my head on the desk and I stared at the window which is closed, and at the bright blue sky.

It's spring, so the cherry trees had blossomed.

But I stopped staring outside when I realized that my collegue is sitting beside me, so quiet.

Of course, he is quiet, he reads something, again.

I don't understand. I don't talk too much, almost not at all, but I have my reasons, what reasons he has?

These days, I lost my temper too many times.

I yelled at my stepmother to shut up because she had complained about the same thing for more than an hour.

I yelled at my stepbrother that day, because he turns off the light when he wants but not when I want too,and I didn't slept, so I was annoyed but he obeyed in the end when I yelled.

I yelled at my stepfather to remind him that I exist and that I don't care about his opinions about kids and money for his alcohol.

I yelled at everyone and today, I yelled at Sasuke.

„Do you ever fucking stop reading?"

My luck is that the class is completly empty.

We are the only ones here ,because we arrived the firsts.

He always arrives first and I was getting sick of that house, and I ran for silence to the school and what did I found?

I see him every day and he just responds to the teachers when he is asked, he writes when we have a test, never takes notes, but always gets 10's at every test or responds perfectly at every question.

And he reads, all the time, with the same book two or three days or sometimes just one day ,and then another book and then another book, always different, always huge, always in his hands.

I don't care about him but I hate these books, I hate those stories with happy endings, is not real, it's a lie.

„It bothers you?"

The tone of my voice was annoyed and loud.

The tone of his voice was calm and low.

„Yes."

„Then get used to it."

He smiled and begun to read again.

I never see him smiling, and every time someone asked what bothers me or something like that and I responded with yes, they turned off the light, or they made silence, or they took the food which I didn't liked from my plate, but he, he didn't closed the book and he didn't put it back ,in his backpack.

He didn't seems angry or confused, he didn't rose an eyebrow or quickly did as I said.

The tone of his voice was calm and his smile was warm.

I wanted to say that question for about two years, and now that I said it.

I am sure. I hate this circle that never stops.

And I would wish that I could know the reason why all these things had happened in this way.

To be continued...

Well, yes, there are not many interactions, and I know I haven't updated in ages.

And no, I haven't gave up on this story.

I actually thought about it a lot, but I haven't had time to write it.

And this chapter is another chapter that is needed.

And maybe you think is nothing.

But from my point of view, to don't make you say ' I hate it' or something similar, I will tell you what is with this chapter.

Feelings. Even if it's insanity, even if it's anger and fatigue, Naruto has feelings my friends, and he begun to show them.

And yes, he shows them ,yelling at everybody.

Well, I have whole more constructive idea, but this will be long, and if you stick with me until the end I hope that everybody will be pleased.

Well, now, that I explained and I wrote not too much in the chapter but much here at the end of it, opinions?


	5. Chapter 5:Weak

I am tired.

So tired that I don't even care what happens around me. So tired that I don't even care what happens with me.

I am sitting in my chair, in a big empty classroom, at my bank.

And I stare at a black board, I rephrase, it is black but it's covered with colored chalk powder, it says:  
Welcome to your first High School year!.

Such irony…

Chapter 5: Weak 

I am not surprised that no one arrived yet. Outside, the rain made everything quiet, and even here, it is very quiet. It's almost too quiet.

My head hurts, I feel weak, and above them all, useless.

It may be because the big 'break' has ended. Maybe because this class is almost too new to me. Maybe because I don't know how the others will be, but I know about one single thing…

The door opened and a black haired boy entered in the room, soaked from the rain and as quiet as if a cat has entered and walked on its pawls.

He closed the door behind him and he sits himself beside me.

As I said, I know about one single thing, I am in the same high school, no, in the same class with the only one from my previous school.

And to be a bigger irony, he even sits in the same bank with me, like before.

And to be ridiculous, we even share the same room in the dorm.

Not to mention, that he hasn't changed at all.

After he sits down, he searches in his backpack and I didn't even looked at him anymore because I know what he is searching for.

His book.

But to be sincere, I'm getting used to it, but no, it still annoys me in every possible way but I became to get used to the idea that if I don't kill him or beat him until he will be so scared to never read again, then I have no influence of what he is doing.

But the truth is that now, we talk more than before and I even asked him once or twice about his books.

He seemed pleased to answer my questions.

He didn't ask me anything though.

I don't know why it bothers me so much, but I am not the only one.

Someone I don't even knew, and I don't think he knew him either, yelled at him one day, saying that he thinks that he is so great and smart with his books all the time, reading all the time, he didn't even looked at him but before the boy would really want to beat him because he was getting byword annoyed because he was completely ignoring him, he said something that made me tremble and think twice.

"You think you are cool, don't you? Always fucking perfect! Well let me tell you something! One day you will meet someone that you want to talk to and he will be fucking reading, then you will say that I was right!"

Later, I found out about the boy's story, he had a brother, a brother who had problems, well, with drugs.

He was younger than him and you didn't have to be a genius to figure out his story.

The bigger brother who always prefers drugs above his little brother.

And even more later, I found out that his brother died because of the drugs, he didn't even had teeth's in his mouth when he was buried, but that was just a rumor.

Even so, I remember his name, and I even searched for it in my book. His name was Jiro and it means "second son".

At that moment, I really thought it was sad. That boy seemed cursed.

And I think at him as it 'was' because I never saw him again, not even after a week after that incident, not even after years .What was even more weird was that everybody avoided to talk about him, not even a word, not even his name, nothing.

And I never really cared too much; it was a mystery that didn't felt like it concerned me.

As I said, my relationship with Sasuke Uchiha changed radically but just when we feel like talking and today, I don't really feel like it.

The sounds of a thunder awaked me up from my thoughts. Thoughts like these kept me awake for some months. I fall asleep just when I am completely exhausted.

I looked from the surface of my bank at Sasuke, who, as always, reads.

His face is as always, stoic, even when he reads. But when he was in his bed, in our dorm room, he smiled while he was reading.

I was really surprised.

For me, this boy, became a complete mystery.

Not like Jiro, that was a lost case. Sasuke was something else.

But just then, he raised his eyes from his book and I looked at the desk's surface again.

Why was I staring so much at him? … No idea.

These months made me more than annoyed.

I wanted to pass this mood.

It already passed a week from the first day of high school and the board has still the same message.

Sasuke reading beside me, the rain pouring outside, the still too early hour for the classes to start, the silence…

That made me crazy.

I am calm, tired, on the outside, and somehow, I have a feeling of peace in me, but in the same time, it's like something is missing, something screams in me. Whatever I do, I feel like I do nothing, because nothing really registers in my mind, it's like I have a wall in me that doesn't lets anything to pass after it.

And I try to tell myself to wake up, to break that wall, and I am getting annoyed by the fact that I accept that I begin to have a problem but I can't solve it , no matter what I do.

I can't concentrate at anything.

The peace in me just hides something after it, after that 'wall' there is something that screams in me, something that keeps me awake at night, something that makes me eat too little because I forget, I don't even realize that I am hungry just until I feel too hungry and it bothers me, but even when I eat, I eat too much because I don't even realize what I do, I just put food in my mouth.

I can't study, I just do things before trying to study, saying that I need to relax before, but I never study, it doesn't matters that I relax 10 hours and it's 5 in the morning, I don't want to study!

And now, this is just the start, I will get bad grades, and that…won't make me any good.

If I think better, I wasn't supposed to be in this school, I didn't have such good grades as Sasuke had, but my wonderful parents have money.

I don't think something more could explain my situation.

This school isn't the strictest school, but it's a much praised school with a very large history behind it.

So that's why I am here.

But did he have to be here too?  
Sometimes I think that I am too cold to him, or he is too cold to me, we are both cold to each other anyway.

But sometimes I realized; if he wasn't here with me, I wouldn't know what to do.

But even so, once or twice, I talked to my classmates, it really is odd for me to try to fit in, I don't even know why I do that… maybe because of boredom?  
And what would someone want to ask me, as I am, the one who stays beside Sasuke in classes, as I share the same dorm room as him, well, guess what, you have three chances.

"_Hey, how the Uchiha kid is like, I mean, you are the only one he talks to, are you two friends or something?"  
_It was odd to even hear something like that.

I never thought about that.

Me and Sasuke friends?

We are not enemies like before, or just I felt that we were anyway. We are not even just classmates like the others are; I mean, I don't even bother to remember their names, and we are not friends either but what do I know, what friends do I have?  
"Uzumachi?"

I looked around me and realized that just Sasuke is in this room. These thoughts never stop, do they?  
"Yes, Uchiha."  
I don't look at him, instead, I still look at the board, but then I wondered why he is talking to me.

"Would you mind?"

And then, I looked at him, what is he talking about?  
"What?"

I stared at him, really confused and he nearly looks a little annoyed and then I felt something under my feet ,and I stared at it, my foot is on his, I really am that tired that I don't realize?

"Oh."

I took my foot from his and then looked at my right, where he wasn't staring at me, but after what might have been a minute, I looked at him again and he was reading as nothing happed and then I stared at the window, soaked from the rain which hasn't stopped and then at his hair.

Some drops of water fell from his hair on his white shirt. And then something made me realize.

They stopped.

The voices, the thoughts, they stopped as I stared at the round circles of water on his shirt.

And just when I was about to say something even if I had no idea what I was about to say the classroom door opened and loud classmates entered in the quiet class.

They stared at us for a moment and then they go to their seats as they thought they seen a ghost where we are and they decided to ignore it.

Like there is nothing there.

But I didn't mind. It wasn't like I am the social type.

I don't have any hope after all. I have nothing to gain. Nothing I want. Nothing I need. I have nothing.

As I stared at the door as more people entered I realized that the wall came back.

The thoughts came back.

The same thoughts but somehow I wondered why, why would they stop if I look at him, after talking with him made me feel better.

Ten minutes later, everyone was in their seats and the first hour has begun.

"Excuse me; can I go to the bathroom?"

I received a small nod in return as he continued to teach his boring history lesson.

I almost ran to the bathroom. Which to my luck, it was empty. I washed my face with cold water and stared at a tired expression in the mirror and he stared back.

I hate how I look.

I hate how strange it became for me to look at myself.

I don't really care but even if it's just my face.

'I am like a stranger to me; the only face I like to watch is…'

In one second the mirror's glass almost flied to the ground making some noise.

My fist hurt and some blood flew from it, some glass cut me.

But as I stared at my eyes in the remain mirror, I was almost to scream.

'This isn't happening to me.'

I quickly got back to the classroom, hiding my hand, and I got away quickly enough when someone came to check what has happened in the bathroom.

What was odder is that I thought that I heard someone in a bathroom stall after I got out, because after the guardian entered, I heard one of the bathroom stall's door openings.

But I continued to walk and when I entered in the classroom, I quickly sat down.

After all, I skipped the next hours.

I return to my room, and I washed my hand, and disinfect it.

But the scar was still there.

After some hours of simply laying on my bed without sleeping, I finally closed my eyes, tired to think.

'I am so sick of thinking.'

And just when I thought that I could sleep, I heard the door opening and pecked a little without him noticing.

Sasuke finished the classes.

He opened his computer, like always.

And then he begins to unbutton his shirt.

For a moment, I thought he was going to change completely in my face but when he turned around and saw me he stopped halfway and I think I closed my eyes quickly enough to make it look like I am asleep.

I realized that he is very close to me when I heard the wooden floor making sounds under his feet.

And then my hurt hand was in his hand.

It wasn't hard to tell even without thinking that I was freaked out.

'He looks at my wound doesn't he? But why?"  
He put my hand back on the bed and then he got to the bathroom after a few minutes and closed the door behind him.

I opened my eyes almost automatically and stared at the closed bathroom door.

'How did I become so weak?" 

To be continued...

Yes, it passed an eternity and yes I am sorry, and yes it may be a little different from before but I am sorry.

It's 5 in the morning and I thought that I should finally start to write again, I don't know if it was a writer's blockage or break but I simply couldn't write anymore.

I don't know why either.

And I should study right now, I have an exam, and I am writing this, and at this hour, I didn't slept either.

Yeah, I am boring, complaining like that, it's just my fault but I am just trying to say I am really sorry, and I hope I didn't lost all my readers, I just couldn't write, I don't know who knows that feelings but I just couldn't.

And it passed very much time, yeah, I am sorry (again).

Well, even so, I hope this chapter isn't very different from others, I write poems too, so I guess in all this time something changed in me and I can't really write the same as before, so don't get mad, I really hope that this doesn't sucks, this is how I feel, almost all his feelings are like mine, this is me now.

Writing about it was the only way to be able to write something, I guess maybe having no idea what to do (okay I have an idea for previous chapters) but I felt like he should have a breakdown, so why not use my life?  
Even so, I will try to get into the story more and really write something more interesting in the next chapter.

I hope I didn't disappoint anybody.

And yeah, this wasn't corrected for mistakes, sorry, but I try to update all of my stories, and it's hard to correct everything, I read it a few times for mistakes but not very elaborated, I will give it to my beta lately, and if there is something that it really isn't readable then tell me in a review (preferable) or in a message.

Thank everyone who reviewed or put this story to favorites or anything or who still waited for this story even if I am a jerk (I said it, I made someone happy?) and I hope I will be forgiven, someday…

And it isn't that I didn't wrote from a long time, it is this breakdown, not at all, this is supposed to happen, this breakdown, he is weak now, just now, he didn't forget his promises but he is just scared of the 'new' world he entered. It's normal, believe me, I had gone through that and that is the way I reacted , if someone is strong, of course there are, at least let him be weak in this chapter, that was his breakdown.

So…

I really have a plot settled in my mind and I promise to blow your minds later.

Thank you.


	6. Chapter 6:In between

"I didn't lie, I never lie."

The sound of my own voice echoed in the almost empty room.

And then, just after I heard my own voice, I heard the sound of the slap that I just took from my step mother.

My right cheek is now red.

Her eyes are red, for the second time, I looked at her crying, and just then, her voice echoed in the room.

"I am sorry."  
I could hear the thunders from outside; the windows are almost shaking from the powerful blowing wind, while the rain washes everything away. Then I heard my voice again:

"I told you to never lie to me again."

Chapter 6: In between

I didn't bother to run, it didn't matter, and I didn't even bother to look back.

To be more exact, all I did was to get my stuff and get out of that place. While my mother cried, shouted and threw plates and glasses on the ground, crushing them.

While I took the clothes for 'our' room, I stared at my step brother who is still reading. But I saw a trace of sorrow in his eyes, and he even reacted after I finished taking all that I needed and got out of 'our' room, for the last time, and I saw him standing up and I even saw his book falling to the ground.

While I passed though the kitchen, while my step mother still did the same scene, my step father came from his 'home office' and stopped me.

Three steps and then I can get out. Three steps and I set myself free of their lies. Three steps and everything it's done.

I stared at my step's father hand on my arm, while in his other hand is a bottle of expensive liquor.

Everyone came after me; I stared at my step mother, step brother, and step father.

I am between them and the door.

I didn't say a word, but I know that my gaze says everything, while I stared at my step father's hand.

And then after I realized that he won't budge, not for the reason that he cares about me, but because that the alcohol can't let him realize what is really happening, I looked at him, in the eye, waiting.

"If you leave now, you are not allowed to come back."  
His words spit venom, the veins from his eyes are red from the alcohol he drank, but just then I realized that he really knows what I am doing.

'That's new.' I thought and then I stared at all of them.

'For the last time.' I thought again and so, I wrenched my hand from his with strength and walked out in the pouring rain.

I don't regret anything, I don't care at all, and I don't feel anything.

After all, they all lied to me.

So, without looking back, I walked while the rain soaked me to the bone, I walked until I arrived on the school grounds, until I was in the dorm, in the dorm's room, with him.

I put my backpack on the ground, beside the closet.

And then I looked at him for a second, while he is still in his chair, still with the same book he had before I left.

I know he knows, but I just don't care. And just like that, before he will take his glasses off and say something, I entered in the bathroom and took all of my clothes off, and then entered in the shower stall.

The cold water from the storm is now replaced by the warm water.

I don't deny that maybe I caught a cold or something, but I am not that weak.

I got out of the shower and stared in the bathroom's mirror that is somehow blurred by the seam that has formed from the shower I just took.

I cleaned it with a towel and I just looked at my own reflection in the mirror.

Years passed me by without my mind catching up with them.

I still feel like it's the first day of high school but it's not, and the evidence is right in front of my eyes.

I am taller than I was then, my hair grew a lot but just enough, and my body is more defined than it used to be.

Still skinny, still blond, still locked, but somehow, I can't help but compare myself with him.

I put a towel around my lower parts and got out of the bathroom.

I sat myself in bed and looked at him while he is still reading in his chair, at his desk.

I just stared at him and somehow, just this action, brings me memories.

Now, I have 16 years and then, I had 14.

Odd how just 2 years have passed, it feels like it has passed more.

It was in the third month of the first year, my first year in high school.

"_Hurry up boys!"_

_The sport teacher announced to the noisy young students. Everybody has to change in the same place after all. No matter the fact that it's not big and all of them are boys._

_I tried to change quickly and get over with it, but I felt like someone stares at me and just then, when no one was around anymore, just when I was about to finish and even thought that I was the last one left, I looked behind me and stared in black eyes._

_He is unfazed by the fact that I just caught him staring._

_But I am not unfazed by his actions at all. We are enemies, almost, or more like two competitive persons._

_No matter what, someone must beat the other at something, anytime, or more, every single time._

_But this is a game played just by two, known just by two, no words were spoken, but still, we know._

_After having many breakdowns, I turn all of my anger on him._

_And today, I have luck, just because of the fact that we are not playing with a ball, no matter what, it involves two teams, and even if we get in the same team, he is going down._

_This boy is not perfect like everybody thinks of him and say he is, indeed, perfect._

_He lies to everyone and I will prove it. _

"_Uchiha! Uzumachi! Come on!"_

_The teacher yelled for us and we both walked to the field._

Awoken from my memory I looked at him again.

'I felt competitive.' I thought, amused. He took his glasses off and stared at me with his black eyes while I just stood there, starring back.

It felt like I had something to think about, my life wasn't so empty, and still, something killed me inside, I wasn't supposed to have something to gain and that is why.

'I hated him.'

But back then…

"_The game will be played in two teams…"_

_The teacher made the preparations and just as I wanted, we are in opposite teams._

'_The game' it's pretty simple and pretty much invented by our respectable teacher._

_Two teams, playing against each other, pushing themselves on the others and if someone falls then the both teams must put themselves on the ones that had fell, the thing is that the one that is at the top, usually wins, but not every time because if the one that is at the bottom it's from the other team, then it's draw._

_Although, there could be many people who could fall at the start so it isn't like it will be just one person under everybody._

_From my opinion, the game is pretty stupid but I am not the only one that thinks that, after all, from the first time, without me telling one single word about my opinion, even if that wouldn't have happened anyway, the rest of the class has thought the same._

_There were no founds for the sport classes so that is why we can't play with a ball and this 'game' was invented and so, this explains why we play outside too, on the dirty ground._

_It all starts from when the teacher blows in his blue whistle. _

What surprised me in that day, in that hour, and in that game was that everybody attacked me.

_It didn't took me long to realize that I was forced to fall on the ground and then pinned to the ground by someone who's identity was unknown until I opened my eyes._

_Black hair on my right shoulder and a heavy breath, his body pressed against mine, I already knew._

'_From his hair and from his smell.' I thought amused and then I continued to remember that moment._

_I was annoyed when many students were above us and I knew that it will take long enough until the teacher will stop everything and I will be able to change my position. _

_But for the first time in my 14 years I was shocked, and everything stopped around me when he realized that I am under him and that he is in top of me._

_We stared in each other's eyes while our breaths are heavy, the sound of screams and the ones that complained to the teacher were heard in the background from the other boys._

_I wanted to feel nothing, but I felt everything._

_From the ends of his black hairs on my shoulder to his breath, to his thumbs occasionally touched my sides, he tried to stay steady, and to don't crush me completely._

_But it didn't take long until another student was on top of the pile, and I was crushed by no other boy, but Sasuke Uchiha._

Woken up and almost embarrassed because my thoughts while he looks at me confused, with his glasses in his hands and with tired eyes.

'I wanted to feel nothing but I've felt everything.' I thought and I came back to my memories while he opened his mouth to talk to me.

The pile moves because of the ones that now struggle above us. And we moved with them.

His smell and touch of his hair, hands and his whole body over me are simply intoxicating.

'I want them to stop and yet, not.' I thought, almost scared but completely annoyed by my own thoughts.

""_She closed her eyes and put the gun at her head, and said: _

"_I am sorry."_

"_Maeko stop!"_

_They wanted to take her gun before but she pulled the trigger fast, staring in my eyes and the tears fell from her eyes._

_She has whispered something with one second before she pulled the trigger but I couldn't understand.""_

'I remember that the memory had absolutely no connection with what was happening in that moment. That woman, Maeko killed herself in front of me and I remembered that while I was under Sasuke and other students, I felt disgusted by everything while…' I thought while I smiled and opened my eyes, without even realizing that I had closed them and looked at Sasuke that in that very second had closed his mouth from saying any words and we just stared at each other as I closed my eyes again.

_What I realized after remembering that was that someone else was above the pile, again, it crushed me more than it did before._

_The teacher should have stopped this game until now. _

'_Takes too long.' I've thought loud in my head, but I said nothing outside, as always._

_My will to stay under this whole pile was reduced to zero but just then, it all stopped._

_There were many other piles around us and the teacher counts us and we have to stay still to find out who has won._

_But in all that silence that has suddenly happened after everybody has stopped struggling and fighting with everybody for a spot on the ground or at the top._

'_I feel something…between my legs…'_

_I've thought rather quietly while I've realized and I suddenly felt the urge to scream._

'_It can't be…' I thought even more quietly than before._

_As if he could hear my thoughts if I thought them louder._

_So I moved a little so I can look at him because I've moved my head so I wouldn't have to look at him but I felt the need to tell him that I feel it, and I needed to tell it to stop and I did, with my eyes._

'_This can't be happening to me…'_

_I looked into his eyes but after seconds, everybody got off of everybody, and the teacher said that Sasuke's team has won._

_But the anger that I should have felt because I never felt competitive with anyone else but for him, it disappeared._

In fact, everything disappeared. I was shocked even after days that I couldn't remember about my promises in that moment; I couldn't think about anything, I just felt the same as if he was still on top of me.

Sasuke just went back to what he was doing at his desk before, and he just completely ignored me, as always, I looked at the ceiling while staying on my bed with my hands under my head.

'I remember I wanted to feel disgusted with myself, or to even make fun of him or something…or anything. But in the end, nothing happened. I was confused just in my mind, everything was happening just in me. Nothing got out and even if we stood in the same room in the dorm as we stay now. We didn't talk about it.

And after many days or even some weeks, I completely forgot about it as if that moment was erased and it was. Until today.'

I closed my eyes, tired to pretend that I was looking at the white ceiling and his voice has suddenly echoed in the room asking for my attention.

"What did you do?"

The subject was obvious. I just left home, if that house could be named home, after all, I never had a home before, so should that be...

I've thought twice about it, and I imagined those two irresponsible parents and the robotic child. That isn't how a family should be. I think…

"I left."

"Hm…"

Our conversations never have many words, and even less words when the subject it's a tough one like this one.

While years had passed, we became somehow close to friends, or if you could name our relationship like that.

We talk and that is something that I hate about myself for doing it, and now, we have a history.

'What annoys me the most is that he is the only one that I ever talked to, my promises have never been broken except of that incident and …maybe the fact that I've felt competitive and that maybe, just maybe…No.'

He rose up after he closed his book and walked to the switch and then looked at me and after seconds he spoke:

"Can I turn it off?"

I looked at him while wondering why was I thinking so much about him, about us and then a thought has spoke upper than the rest:

'Why am I thinking about him all day?'

"Yes. Goodnight." I responded and closed my eyes.

"Goodnight."

He said and the darkness has surrounded our room.

To be continued…

It took some time, I know, I am sorry. Hope everybody still reads it, and I know he is still somehow weak in his thoughts because he thinks about Sasuke all day and reminds everything but no. On the outside he is still the same, I hope you noticed this. Thank you for waiting patiently. Hope to receive your opinion and see you guys in the next chapter.


	7. Chapter 7:Part 1 Rotten apple

"Baby, you're just too young for things like these! Give them to me... or you'll get hurt!"

Chapter 7: Part 1- Rotten apple

I never thought that I am that immature, but I guess that life always had her ways to surprise us.

I am on the roof of the dorm. With no one but myself, but I wait for someone.

One year has passed since I left that doomed house. I am now 17. And I think that I hit the bottom of the river.

'I had a fight with Sasuke...' I let the time pass for this thought to spread through me, and a smirk has appeared on my face.

The reason is now between my lips.

_Class had just ended, and the weekend welcomed me with her short arms._

_On my way to the dorm, I've met two boys whom I've never seen before. _

_I could tell that they are friends which made me feel a feeling which was unknown to me until that moment._

_"Hey, Blondie!" One of the two boys has yelled at me from their place, I knew that, but I didn't want to look at them, so I ignored them._

_"Wait a minute!" Another voice, which I guess that it's owned by the other boy, has yelled, again, at me._

_But I continued to walk ahead._

_It was a rainy day; the pavement was wet because of the rain that has stopped with about just ten minutes before the last bell has announced our departure._

_A bridge at my left made of grey stone, and the streets at my right where cars often pass by even if there are not many at all, everything was grey like the clouds above my head._

_My large dark red sweatshirt is comfortable and keeps me warm but not enough, so I hurried my steps toward my destination._

_The street it's completely empty, despite my opinion which revolves in a circle of pure hatred for the cold that has entered in my bones, but also gratefulness for the silence and for a clear road, it seems that my colleagues are ignoring the weather, and that they have put more interest on their precious end of the Friday. _

_I almost forgot of my only two companions, which were under the bridge the last time when I looked at them, and the single time when I looked at them._

_But it was impossible for me to continue my road when the two certain boys have run right in front of me, blocking my way._

_"Stay put for one damn minute!" One of the two has spoke with a tired tone, obviously, they ran to catch me. And now they rest, one supporting the other while they try to catch their breath._

_I immediately observed that the one with the dark brown eyes and the black hair with a hairstyle that matched Sasuke's in a way , has piercings in both ears and on his bottom lip and even on his right eyebrow, a black cross hanging from his left earlobe has caught my attention. _

_They shared a long striped scarf in black and white at their necks, like it was connecting them._

_The other one it's bit shorter than the other, which is taller, and he has different hair style, a dark red color, and his eyes are a dark green. He also has piercings but not as many as the other, one on his right eyebrow and in his ears._

_However, their styles are very much alike, if I look at them like they are in one piece, not two, and the one scarf which they both wear, forced me in a way to look at them as at one piece._

_Their clothes are also alike, with dark colors but simple in some way, that if you don't observe the jeans with holes._

_I try to think that they are emo or punk rebels, not beggars._

_After I inspected them thoroughly, I was even surer of myself._

_'I have to run away.'_

_I didn't say a word, I just stared at them, and I waited until they calmed down and until the red haired boy has talked to me:_

_"Listen, I know that it might sound odd, but we have nowhere to stay and we wondered if..."_

_I could tell by his voice that he is sincere in his begging tone, with his hands at his mouth like he is praying to me, and that they are not beggars even if they live on the street, but they are not beggars, yet._

_So, all that I said, even if I interrupted him:_

_"I can't."_

_I turned to right, I made a step to the right and then I was able to escape._

_But I made just one more step and then the hood of my sweatshirt stopped me from advancing further._

_I looked at him and he looked back, not impressed, the black haired boy still holds it with his hand, looking at me somehow frustrated._

_The red haired boy it's still looking in the place where I've been but now his hands are at his sides._

_"Damn it." The black haired boy said and I realized that all of the swearing which I've heard has been from him._

_"Look, you'll feel really proud if you let us rot here? We are probably of the same age, I saw you with your rich family once, all I am asking it's some fucked help to get into your school. We need to stay in that dorm so we won't die under this fucking bridge! It will be so fucking simple for you!"_

_He said, or yelled, some words were yelled, some were not, but the end of his outburst sure was._

_I looked at him, not surprised, but a little annoyed._

_Not because he spoke the way he did of my not really, family, but because he thought that he deserved help from anyone because he said so._

_"Just watch me." I said._

_He understood that I wasn't talking about the rest of his outburst but about his question._

_He has let go of my hood and I continued to walk to the dorm._

_I didn't look back but I could say that the black haired boy is still angry but the red haired boy is sad. For a second, I felt bad just for him._

_When I arrived, Sasuke was not there._

_So I stood on the bed and I thought in the pure silence._

_'He said that he saw me with my rich family.' I thought while looking at the white ceiling and then at the window that was open, the rain has started. _

_I got up, and I walked to the window, I wanted to close it but instead, I stared at the pouring rain and I listened at her song, the song made by the tears, the tears of the sky. While I remembered._

_'I also remember his face, his eyes and his arrogance. When I was younger, I was forced and I had no word to say towards my family's wishes. _

_There were those really fancy dinners in which I was obliged to participate._

_His family is also rich or at least it was then; his father is a friend of my step father. So, I've seen him once at one of those fancy dinners._

_But he wasn't very different, I guess he had to take off his piercing for those dinners, but the holes were still there even with years ago; well, now their number has increased, but still…'_

_I closed the window, but I didn't moved from that place, I stood with my back against the window, the thunders, I can feel them, vibrating through the window._

_And so, I closed my eyes and continued to remember._

'_Like now, I have participated at one of his outbursts even then. Two families, at one huge table, but he didn't cared. _

_I was so young so I didn't know what they were talking about, I didn't paid attention, and I didn't cared. I almost couldn't hear them, but I know, I heard him.'_

_"You have no right to talk about him in this way. You don't know him! I don't care that you are my father. I do not allow you. He said." _

_'I spoke word by word to the silence, the words he has spoke in that night to defend someone that I knew nothing about, but now that I think better, I know who he was talking about.'_

_I sigh and then, I've put myself in bed again._

_'After all, you had no choice but to run away with him, didn't you? Cloud?" _

_I spoke to the silence and just the silence answered me._

_The door of the room was being unlocked by someone._

_All I did was to pretend that I sleep but I could not sleep. The shadows danced in the dark. I watched them all night long._

_To be continued…_

_Cloud is my character and the other one also; I hope you will like them and their story._

_So for explanation, the beginning of the chapter is the present, the rest is just a remembering the situation why he had a fight and stuff, but this chapter will have two parts, this is just part one, or even three parts, anyway, the action happens in the other, here, you just met them and yeah, knew something._

_The other part will explain some things but if you have a question then tell me._

_I just like very much how I made them and how I know them in my head, you will know them two._

_It took some time but it's here! So tell me your opinion!_


	8. Chapter 8:Part 2 Black peel

_In the obscurity of the twilight, it seemed like the waves of the clouds were combined in one piece, the gentle sun and its colorful extensions, the petals from a flower ripped by the wind._

_My eyes watched behind the glass, of a window which allows me to see the spectacular show of the nature._

_But no, despite the beauty, of the perfection and the calmness, I felt broken, detached from it._

_I am far away from where I watch, the colors reflecting on the window, entering and enlightening the room along with the irises of my navy blue eyes._

_But the nature it's as sad as I am, despite the colors and the beauty, behind what the humans want to see, the grey clouds are approaching, announcing a terrible storm._

_Chapter 8: Part 2- Black peel_

_The night has retreated its black wings, but my mind had no rest, so the hours passed like the sand from a hourglass, drop by drop, bit by bit, I thought it's unfair, how slow time can pass besides you, and how much you can regret that you still had no time to sleep._

_However, with a white cup filled with a black substance in my hands, I knew that I have to do something more than to wait for the colors to be absorbed by the crepuscular; I have to protect them before the storm opens its black sleeping bud._

_Tired, exhausted by only one white night, maybe because as the drops of sand exhausted themselves, the sea of thoughts has attacked me, taking advance of my lack of strength or mostly, self control._

_'Enough.'_

_I never felt guilt, it never burned my throat and mind, not to mention disturbed my mind._

_The red haired boy it's still looking in the place where I've been but now his hands are at his sides._

_"Damn it." The black haired boy said and I realized that all of the swearing which I've heard has been from him._

_"Look, you'll feel really proud if you let us rot here? We are probably of the same age, I saw you with your rich family once, all I am asking it's some fucked help to get into your school. We need to stay in that dorm so we won't die under this fucking bridge! It will be so fucking simple for you!"_

_I let it play again, the same movie, the same episode has played before my eyes, like it has played for the entire night._

_I've turned the pages, again and again, of the same chapter and I even thought of it in my favor, in their favor, but in the end, I thought of them as for my promises._

_I didn't hoped, didn't dreamed with my eyes open, but maybe...just maybe..._

_'I lied; I can help them to enter in this school. But I no longer have my family support, I have it for me but to ask them a favor means to come back to that house, and didn't I promise myself that I will never go back?'_

_I closed my eyes, I've put the cup on the nightstand and I took my jacket, and I've put it on me._

_'However, I can still help them.'_

_The thought that maybe when I said that I can't is a lie was the only reason which made me to come back to that bridge._

_Even if I immediately refused the thought that maybe I wanted to help them._

_'But what if they already left?' I thought just when I had just ten steps to do until to arrive at the bridge._

_I heard voices right when I arrived at the boundary, the boundary between the bridge and the street which was made in my mind, 'cause the pavement was even under the bridge, grey like the one outside, but a little, cracked._

_But I stopped walking when I saw them, but they aren't paying attention to me anyway._

_"Look, he won't help us, he's just a spoiled brat with a rich family, they don't care about anybody else, but themselves!"_

_Cloud is standing in front of the red haired boy which stays on a medium rock, treating it as a chair. They both look at each other, obviously having a fight._

_"You don't know, maybe..." The red haired said in a low voice._

_"There is no maybe! I know guys like him!" But Cloud it's almost yelling at him._

_I watched and wondered how two complete different personalities got stuck together._

_'It isn't my place to judge." I thought about me and Sasuke for a second and stopped, I made two steps forward and I heard a thunder emanating its power outside._

_This made them look at me, both my steps guiding me into their view and the sound of the sky throwing its anger on the poor earth._

_The red haired boy didn't rise up from its place, and not even his sad face changed, maybe a bit surprised now._

_Though, Cloud looked even more upset and angered._

_For one second I couldn't but compare them with the weather._

_The thunder it's clearly Cloud with its anger, energy and stubbornness, dividing the sky in two._

_But the red haired boy it's the rain, sad but calm, crying with beauty._

_"What the hell do you want now?" Cloud asked me but I did not budge._

_"I changed my mind." I said and in not more than three seconds after it, the red haired expression has changed, happiness spreads across his face within seconds, like the colors of the sunset reflecting on the grey clouds, like a smile._

_He rose up but before he could make one step, Cloud's hand has stopped him, and I realized that me and him, we are both looking at Cloud and we have both realized in the same time:_

_'His expression didn't change.'_

_The rain poured outside, the sky crying and the thunder punishing the earth because of it, but in the same time, frightening the sad sky, resulting it by crying harder._

_"What? Now you thought we'll thank you and that we'll lick your shoes?"_

_He wanted to continue but I talked before he could._

_"Not at all."_

_I said rather calm but he didn't like it._

_"I don't fucking care anyway! So just fuck off!"_

_He said and the red haired boy immediately begun to talk, again with a low voice but enough for me to hear it._

_"Cloud, come on, it's not like that...he really seems to..." He was cut off with the yelling of Cloud's himself._

_The thunder eclipsing the whole sky, dividing it, covering it with its anger, as the sky continues to cry, scared._

_"I don't receive your mercy. Do you understand?"_

_Cloud said and the word echoed all around us, and the red head stepped back and looked at the ground, giving up._

_"This has nothing to do with mercy." I said and I realized that I am already familiarized with his behavior, 'cause he begun to yell again right after my last word and I stopped because I just knew he will do this._

_"Then with what?"_

_I thought and I searched for an answer in myself._

_'It isn't about mercy; I would never do something because of mercy.' I thought to myself._

_'Then why am I doing this?'_

_"Yeah, exactly how I thought, the fucking smelling mercy." Cloud said, took the red haired boy's arm and rather forced him to walk to where he was taking him._

_Their backs are facing me and even if they are not walking fast, they will soon disappear from my sight._

_In the storm._

_I took another step forward and she looked at me, and then pointed the gun at me._

_Trembling hands, and tears, and a voice that broke into wind that came from the window._

_"I am sorry…"_

_I didn't make another step or moved my hands, I have not talked, and I just stared. And she just stood there and cried with the gun pointed at me._

_I closed my eyes and then I opened them again, looked at their backs, and then I spoke, my own voice echoing everywhere around me._

_"I lied when I said that I can't help, and I never lie. I can help both of you." I said and just then they stopped walking, Cloud looked at me and said:_

_"Why? You would help us just because you lied to us and ..." He said but I stopped him._

_"Yes." _

_The thunder has made its sounds, and the rain continued to sing its song, but Cloud smiled at me while he spoke:_

_"You're one hell of a guy, I accept, if you insist so much."_

_His cocky smile shined as the thunder outside, and inside, for one second, I felt like smiling but I didn't._

_Instead, I just walked back to the dorm, looking just ahead._

_Soaked to the bone, but even with the sound of the thunder and with the sound of the pouring rain filling my ears, I still could hear their steps in the water that has gathered on the pavement ,splashing it all around, and sometimes muffled sounds, whispered words, I could hear them all happening behind me._

_To be continued..._

_Yeah, I'm sorry, this chapter didn't gave you much information about the two new companions, not even the name of the red haired boy or something, just developing the characters personality I guess._

_I'm sorry but I hope everybody liked it, it isn't very long even if it took a long time to write it but I thought about a way so you can get information and take them from the bridge in the same time, but in the end, I thought that I just try to add everything and it will turn out bad, rushed, maybe confusing if I do that so there will also be a part three of this._

_If it is any consolation, I think that the next chapter, part three, will be rather a long chapter because I think I have a lot to say. So… maybe this will help you guys forgive me._

_Anyway, I want to thank Mandekerasu for its review, for taking the time of telling me its opinion and for encouraging me to continue this story, and yes you are right, he really unconsciously broke his promise, and in this chapter, he broke the one of not lying and he will slowly break them all, of course, I will make him consciously break the one about 'not falling in love' but as you see, I take everything slow, I don't like to rush things and I hope I didn't disappoint you or get you bored. _

_So, hope everybody enjoyed this chapter and see you next time. Thank you._


	9. Chapter 9:Part 3 The core of the apple

_Steps have disturbed the peace of the street, while the water fights with our shoes. Demanding entrance._

_I could hear their whispers, and in some extent, their joy._

_For one moment, I thought that I was crazy._

_'Am I the reason for all of this?' I questioned myself, but somehow, I stopped the answer from settling down in my mind._

_I was pleased and I felt guilty about it. _

_However, as we entered in the dorm and as I watched while walking, I've let the drops of water on the floor, from my hair, from my clothes, from my shoes and even from my skin._

_But as I unlocked the door and then, I entered before them, turned on the dim light of the room, I no longer looked ahead, I looked at them._

_Chapter 9: _ Part 3- _The core of the apple_

_At the two boys which I've brought in my room, as if I've brought two puppies from the street, all wet from the rain, and also soaking my carpet with their water._

_The apartment seemed untouched by the storm outside, and the only proof from which you can deduct that outside it's raining, would be the traces we've left, on your way here, and right here._

_Small steps, as if confused, in between the decision: 'Make a step inside, or not?'_

_My gaze answered to the red haired boy who is the only one still outside the room, while the other is already on my chair, but also looking at him._

_"Come on." He said with a voice of which I've never thought that I will ever hear from Cloud._

_It was warm, comforting, and then I thought that I don't know him almost at all._

_He stretched out his hand, a drop of water falling from it on the floor; even so, just then, the red haired boy has made a step forward, into the room, to accept the stretched hand._

_The gesture has made me stop from moving or from saying anything._

_Even outside, the storm seemed to watch. The thunder no longer angry, no longer present, and the rain, being quiet and reserved, just to hear further._

_Two hands reunited, along with two pair of eyes, as if they were locked in each other's gaze._

_Cloud staying on the chair and the red hair boy standing before him, staring in each other's eyes, as the red haired boy's right hand was embraced by Cloud's left hand and then kissed by Cloud's lips._

_But their eyes did not disconnect, not even for one second._

_As if having a conversation, on their own, just the two of them knowing what words their eyes tell, what whispers, and what messages, letters, whatever they are, but full of hope and lust._

_While I just now see the spark in their eyes, the bulb being jealous._

_But even the nature was more welcomed to their silent but beautiful show, while I am not needed._

_So I've retreated with normal steps to the bathroom._

_I've turned on the shower's water and the steam soon raised, the mirror blurred along with the glass of the window._

_As I've stripped naked and thrown the wet clothes on the floor and then entered in the shower stall._

_The warm water is relaxing my every bone and pore. However, my mind was still in the other room, as if the door doesn't exist._

_My mind alarmed while I tried to ignore it with my whole being._

_The water still on, while I've let my back to slip on the sandstone on my way down._

_I stood there, more than I could estimate, with my eyes staring at the transparent but blurred glass of the shower's stall._

_But I am not staring at it at all, not even at the steam, a point in the air, as if a point in my mind, wants my attention._

_I refuse to accept it._

_But even so, I barely was aware that the other part of my mind already sees their show over and over again._

_Or mostly, I refuse to be aware until the end, until the conclusion will be above this whole steam._

_'They're together?' I've questioned myself so silently in my mind, with so small letters, and with a voice so low that I've barely heard my own thought, or I wished I didn't._

_I knew. I knew from the first time when I saw them, I knew that the boy which Cloud was defending at our parents fancy dinner is someone special to him, and I knew what the look from my eyes meant when I was staring at him, long ago… _

_'I was so young so I didn't know what they were talking about, I didn't paid attention, and I didn't cared. I almost couldn't hear them, but I know, I heard him._

_"You have no right to talk about him in this way. You don't know him! I don't care that you are my father. I do not allow you." He said.' _

_The way I looked at him in that moment, I ignored it until today, but today I realized while I've looked at them: ' It was lust? '_

_The spark from my eyes, I've felt it then, it was the same as theirs now, maybe a little more tamed, maybe a little more dead but somehow, more hungrier, more insane, more desperate than theirs._

_And it was feeding from his words._

_From the simple impulse that someone like us can have someone special._

_We were the same after all, I've saw him before but now, he is different because of the red haired boy and I am different because of..._

_'Sasuke.' _

_My conclusion, my point, and his name made me get up; turn off the water, to put a towel around my waist, to open the blurred window, and to force my head out of the room, to feel the wind cold against my skin, with my breath quick, desperate for air._

_I stood there until I was cold._

_While I stood under the hot water which has almost burned my skin, I felt attacked from all around me. And now, I try to freeze my skin, my thoughts and mostly, my emotions._

_The weather has calmed down, it no longer rained, and instead it all seems to be wet and cold._

_The wind is the only one which is angry, right now._

_I've took another towel with which I've ruffled my hair a little, while I tried to get rid of the water._

_When I got out of the bathroom it was to no longer see them on the chair, but the red haired boy on my bed which is beside the white radiator, on which Cloud stays, which is under the half-opened window._

_I quietly asked myself what they are doing but then I saw. The smoke of a cigarette can be seen flying outside the window and a little inside._

_"You mind?" Cloud asked me right when he saw me._

_I nodded a no, and then I searched for clean and dried clothes._

_I took some and entered back in the bathroom. When I finished, with the towel still around my shoulders, I got out._

_I walked to them and I surprised myself by talking first:_

_"Do you want to do a shower or something?" I asked but I received no answer, while the cigarette was stretched out to me, close to my mouth._

_I surprised myself twice, while I accepted by tasting a cigarette and breathing in its smoke._

_"Stay a little." He told me while I resisted the urge to let the smoke out; instead, I kept it in my lungs._

_"Let it out." He said and I did just that, the proof that I've smoked for the first time is lingering in the air._

_"You're good." He said while his smirk has been present on his lips for the entire time._

_But right after those words were spooked, I confronted with a sudden cough which seemed to refuse the smoke which I've inhaled._

_The red haired boy has begun to rub my back in circles with a small smile, while Cloud has begun to laugh._

_I wanted to tell him a piece of my mind for laughing of me, but the cough stopped anything I wanted to do._

_The red haired spoke while he still rubbed my back:_

_"It's natural to react like this at first." He said and his words comforted me, along with his circles on my back. My cough stopped and I just nodded a thank you to him._

_I guess he understood while he sat back on my bed._

_"Again." I've said to Cloud while he just smoked himself, but he just smirked and then he gave the cigarette to me._

_I inhaled again and again, at first I begun to cough again but at the third cigarette, I already felt familiarized with the taste, and my lungs have accepted the nicotine and the other substances with no other choice._

_They just watched me at first, and then smoked with me, but soon enough, our little party became suddenly quiet when the door of the room has opened._

_Revealing no one, but..._

_"Sasuke." His name died in my throat as if it said enough._

_One unlit cigarette which is still between my fingers and two complete strangers which are still in our room can make Sasuke think at anything else but the truth._

_Even so, he just stood there, after he closed the door behind him, made two steps, let his backpack on one of the desks and just stared at all of us as he said just three words:_

_"What is this?" _

_However, I didn't felt alarmed at all; it was just that I forgot the fact that Sasuke knows nothing about my two new companions and everything else._

_"Look, he is Cloud, the son of another rich family, I've first met him years ago at one of my family's dinners and he is his..."_

_I've pointed out to the red haired boy of which I know nothing at all. And not to mention that the word 'boyfriend' has stuck in my throat._

_'If he knows, it won't make him like them at all.' I thought as I closed my eyes for a second to open them again and then to continue:_

_"…his friend and they just want to stay a little here, I will help them enter in our school and that's it."_

_I suddenly felt ridiculous._

_'Why am I giving him explanations as if I've done something wrong?'_

_I ignored my sudden urge to turn back in time and to act different, so I just stared at Sasuke which has his hands at his chest and looks incredulous at me._

_"If he's rich why he needs your help to enter this school?" He asked me and I almost realized that I don't know the explanation myself._

_But without me being able to respond, Cloud has begun to talk with a calm but firm voice:_

_"I've ran away from my family, I've hated my family for caring more about appearances than anything else, and to add more, they didn't cared about me and what I want, just what I am supposed to do to look good in society, I don't want a life like that, so I've left." He said, with a smirk at the end._

_"And now you have nowhere to live." Sasuke finished Cloud's explanation. But then, he looked at my bed, or mostly at the red haired boy:_

_"And you are?"_

_"My name's Ryuu, and I am not rich, quite poor, I've met Cloud by accident and we've became friends." He said while a faint pink blush has appeared on his cheeks while he spoke but continued:_

_"My mother died when she gave me birth and my father always blamed me for her death, but anyway, the reason I've left was that my father didn't let me work, while he still works at his old bar, he said that artists aren't paid well, and I gave up but when I met Cloud, and when we've realized that none of us is happy where we are, we ran away together." He said and after he finished, Cloud stretched out his hand and Ryuu accepted it._

_"God..." Sasuke said as he put his fingers between his eyes and massaged them._

_We waited for him to say something and he did, and outside the rain has started all over again._

_"And you want us to give them a home or what? This room is not big enough even for us and how do you intend to make the principal listen to you? They no longer have parents!"_

_Sasuke said to me, and just then, I felt the urge to fight back._

_"But I can..."_

_I begun but Sasuke cut me off._

_"And neither do you." He said, accusing me._

_"I know. But I can talk to them on the phone, pull some strings..."_

_'Is this me?' I thought silently._

_I said but again, Sasuke spoke over me._

_"You know they will accept just if you come back home." He said as a matter of fact._

_"But maybe you..." I begun but my voice died._

_'Is this us?'_

_"You're kidding me, aren't you?" He said almost laughing, but ironical._

_It all stopped, but the thunder has echoed outside, the rain has begun to sing, but in this room, everything was silent._

_I took Cloud's arm, hoping that he still holds Ryuu's hand, and just like that, I got out, not looking back, and leaving Sasuke in the same place, in the same position, in the same silence._

_I let go of the hand as I ran on the stairs up, I heard my name being called by Ryuu but I knew that they were following me to wherever I was going._

_I ran on stairs and then, on more stairs which are leading to the roof of the building._

_I stormed while I pushed myself on the door of the roof, as I realized that the rain is not very angry and the thunders rare._

I never thought that I am that immature, but I guess that life always had her ways to surprise us.

I am on the roof of the dorm. With no one but myself, but I wait for someone.

One year has passed since I left that doomed house. I am now 17. And I think that I hit the bottom of the river.

'I had a fight with Sasuke...' I let the time pass for this thought to spread through me, and a smirk has appeared on my face.

The reason is now between my lips.

As I put the cigarette between them and lit it with Cloud's lighter which he gave to me when I was about to lit it but Sasuke came in.

And then, I heard Cloud's swearing from the stairs.

Soon, I saw them both. Trying to catch their breath from the entire running.

Ryuu still breathed quickly with his hands on his knees, as Cloud's breath is steady already and as he put one hand on Ryuu's back.

"Now what?" Cloud asked me as I just stood there, the wind being stronger than ever.

To be continued…

Not so very long but it's good for me. Hope everybody liked it and hope I didn't disappoint anybody. I liked this chapter; I think it turned out how I wanted it to be.

A little action at least!  
I want to thank Mandekerasu for its sweet review. I want to make you say many many many and more many wows. Hope you liked this chapter my dear.

I also want to thank inuyasha9lover for its review, it made me very happy, to know that someone stayed up for my story, I did that but for other people of course and this made me very happy, I am also able to do that! Yay! I will keep up the good work, and I really thank you for your kind words.

Also I announce (I don't know if I said it before but eh…) I have a poll and it really has just…2 votes or what? So if anybody is interested, I really am in your answers.

Even so, I will try to keep it up and write the chapters for this story constantly so it won't take too long to update and not too less, hope everybody likes this chapter and what will come further. As you see, after all the narrating and all that, we are somehow in the present (I say somehow…you will see why I say somehow).

I finally said the name of the red haired boy and their story but we will come back at that later because I want to go deeper in the details, not just like this! Hope you all agree with me.

Thank you everybody, see you next time.


	10. Chapter 10:Part 1 My story

AN (1): This chapter is a bit long, I hope that nobody is bothered by that, I know that at first you will be wondering who is who and where but have patience, I just like to keep you in the dark for a while and then to make a whole bomb out of it!

Huh...One more thing, we are in the past (again) but not Naruto's past or Sasuke's but of the red haired boy and black haired boy, hope you know who that is and the names will be in the chapter if you still don't have a clue.

So, now, enjoy:

The weak rays of sun can enter from the closed windows which once have had white persiennes, but now, they are covered with dust, having a dirty yellow color.

To be sincere, the dirty yellow color suits the dirty old pale green color of the almost completely peeled off wall.

The ceiling stays to fall, the whole house being incredibly old, the ceiling it once had a pale blue color with a certain design, but it's almost inexistent, it exists just in the middle, where just a bulb hangs, dead.

The floor has its own song, the wood which can squeak and which can also sing a different song each time it has a chance.

The few rays can reach an old mirror which has some black spots, missing some pieces of it now and there, its frame it once had a golden color, maybe it was even gilded, I wouldn't know, because now there are just some random weak golden parts of it above the lower layer, which in the present are the only ones that hold the mirror, the lower layer it's made of pure old wood.

The mirror is supposed to be one with the wooden table that's below it, the thing still has a few drawers, and some of them still have handles made from wood with some flower design on it, the same as it is on the frame of the mirror.

I imagine that it once has been a marvelous and expensive makeup table, like the ones that the celebrities have or at that time, the beautiful women, and from what I know, it was bought even from when the girls were very little.

"What age you had when it was bought for you, mom?"

Chapter 10: Part 1- My story

This old makeup table is all that I have from you.

'No.' I thought quietly but firm, while I looked in the mirror, the dim light from the rays of the sun making my face visible in the old mirror.

This makeup table, my red hair, the feminine features of my face, my soft white skin and even my weak and slim body are all from you, yours.

'And my green eyes.' I thought while I closed my eyes, blocking the pain like it came from the old mirror.

For me, this is some kind of irony, to stay in the room of my mother, her only room, her entire life she has been here, she has looked in the same mirror, her reflection in it, my reflection in it, our reflection in it.

More, for me, this is some kind of cruelty and I know who the owner is.

"Come here! Now! Or I'll kill you with my own hands!"

A voice of a male echoed on the outside of the wooden door, the old wooden stairs shaking under its weight and determination, or mostly, anger.

The owner of this cruelty is also the owner of this old house and like he wants to label himself: The one that owns me.

"Brat! I said now!"

The voice continued to yell, his swearing no longer affects me; I've became immune to many things, thanks to him. One of them are his words, good or bad, mostly swears.

"Ryuu!" The demanding voice has said and I already knew. The rare times when he says my name it always ends the same.

He would usually beat me for unimportant things, but when he says my name, it's the worst of the worst.

'He'll kill me...' I barely even finished my thought that the old wooden door fell on the floor in front of me.

This no longer scared me, it isn't the first time and it isn't the last time either.

But what always surprised me is how my body feels the pain of his blows before he even arrives in front of me, before he even hits me.

The man at the door, with dark brown hair, with a weird color of eyes, it's just inexplicable, and with a tall and massive body has talked to me again:

"I made you and I will kill you!"

This man is my father.

From what he has always said, I am a mistake on this earth, and from what everybody says, along with him, I look exactly as my mother, and they even say that if my mother would've been a man, then she would've looked exactly like me.

The reason why this man, which is my father, hates me might be because I look like my mother.

Along the rest: I have dreams, I think too much, I am weak, I am like a woman, I don't work like I should and mostly, I am exactly like my mother, I look like her and even my personality is the same as hers.

No matter what I do, this person just hates me more.

I gave up on trying to make him acknowledge me such a long time ago that I can't remember.

"Who do you think you are?" He screams.

And from the beginning until the end, a leg in my stomach so that I will fall to the ground, one leg crushing my cheek until it turns a bit violet, then the countless kicks in my back, ribs, legs, then stomach again, and all this so he can grab me by my red hair which is just a bit after my jaw and then to hit me with his own head against mine, once or twice, or at least until some blood pours from where he hit me, a fist in my stomach so I'll surely remain to the ground.

Sometimes it's more; sometimes it's less, so it depends. Now, he's a bit tired.

While he beats me he also swears me but I hear just the beginning of it, because after, I don't hear a thing, I barely see something, and I don't dare to move, it only makes everything worse.

It also annoys him if I don't recover fast, not to mention to let others see that I have bruise or something, if someone comes to complain about me, which has happened only once, then I know that the second time, my destination won't be just the hospital.

And so, I lay on the floor, with my eyes closed until I force myself to move, and as always, I crawl to the bathroom.

The ones of my age usually use their money for buying junk food, manga, games, clothes, to go to clubs and other stuff.

I use my money to buy: bandages, pain killers, ointment for bruises, and many other similar things, and also makeup so I can mask the cuts, bruises and everything that might be visible on my skin and to indicate the truth.

It's different this time. Before, I was scared, terrified of him, and I did everything I could just so I won't be beat up, but this time it's different, the reason why the fights have become such an ordinary thing that he also grow sick of it, is because I don't want to give up.

Our family owns a shop, not a popular or wonderful shop, quite the opposite.

We have a house with two floors, and we also have a store but the house has been the house of my mother and the shop is also hers, which once has been successful.

Now, if we wouldn't have this old roof above our heads then we would probably be on the street.

We are poor.

We and the entire town, or mostly this part of the town, if you walk enough or mostly, travel then you can enter the civilization, where you can see a block or a normal store, or maybe something more than hills and old houses.

'The haunted town' isn't explicit enough.

I am an outsider in my way, I was born here and I lived here my entire life and from what my father says, I will also die here.

But I have no friend here; the only friend I once thought it was mine was a paid girl by my father, who just wanted to humiliate me more.

The others are all friends of my father, no matter if it's an old woman or a young boy.

So I keep my thoughts to myself, I keep the truth to myself, and I keep everything to myself.

All that I have are my thoughts, and my life, the life from my mother. The rest, it's not mine, it's his.

I almost fell with each step which I've took on the old wooden stairs, walking through the old depraved house toward the shop, the shop of our family.

Even in the shop, the walls are made from wood, along with the floor and shelves where we have our second hand goods which according to my father, they should sell.

And because of an inexplicable miracle, people still buy from here, but just because my father gives them discounts and because they are all his friends, and my enemies.

"'morning my boy, help your father more often, would you? He's old but he works more than you do."

This old man before me with white hair and who has wrinkles all over his face, and also owns the most annoying accent possible because 'My' it's like a 'Ma', and 'you' it's 'ya' and all of his smiles and words are fake, a lie.

This man is more than old, he has been young when my mother has owned this shop, from what I know, he has liked her, enough to want to marry her, but she refused because she was in love with my father.

And that's why now he is the best friend of my father and my first enemy, he is the one that has 'assumed' that I disrespect the old ones or something like that, and he has told his opinion to my father, which has beat me so bad that I arrived at the hospital.

He wouldn't allow me, 'cause I am nobody, to dirty the white page of our family, our respect and reputation. Which in my opinion, it's already black.

But the truth is that I still don't know what the old man has told to my father, what I know is that I hate him with my whole being. He knew my mother, he knows the truth about this family and he is the only one who knows it, but he just wants to push us deeper in the mud.

The first time when I wanted to help my father was when I told him about his 'best friend', but of course that he would never believe me, his own son.

"Good morning, how may I help you Mr. Yasuhiro?" My voice is inexpressive as so is my face, so he can't complain, a frown appears all over his face before he speaks with a voice somehow distant:

"One pack of sugar." This is all that he said and his accent didn't even made its usual appearance but I don't want to know why he doesn't looks at me or if even his accent it's fake.

I immediately brought a pack of sugar and I've told him the price, at this, he looked me in the eyes and said without any trace of his usual accent:

"I know." He said as he put the money on the counter, took the pack of sugar and put it in his old bag and then, he left without looking back and without talking with anybody else that is in the shop, which has never happened before.

I robotically served at the shop all day long, and all I could think of were his words.

'I know the price for the sugar, or I know about something else?' He didn't even bother to smile his ironical smile. And his accent was completely gone.

At the end of the day, some students came and bought some beer with real joy all over their faces.

And so, while I walked back to my room, I couldn't, but to think:

'I should be in high school now, but instead; I spend my entire day at the shop, because my father thinks that education it's futile.'

This has also been a reason of the constant fights, and also, this has been the worse subject for me.

I study but I hide this fact, I love to read and to paint, I think I really have talent even if I wouldn't know because I can't show it to no one. I really would like to know more about everything. I like biology, history and romance novels are my favorite. But I will never use what I know but still, this is my only pleasure.

As I said, the makeup table still has some drawers, some of them still have keys even if they no longer have handles, the makeup table is the only thing I have left from my mother and the only thing my father won't touch. No matter what, so all my books and notebooks, hardly obtained are all in there.

Her bed has been used as wood for fire some winters ago, I slept on the floor for several months, almost one year until Mr. Yasuhiro wanted to give me a present for my birthday, and he gave me the bed that I have right now. Mr. Yasuhiro is the best friend of my father so he often comes to our house, not just at the shop so he didn't throw the bed so the people won't be suspicious.

The mystery is how he found out that I don't have a bed and more, this bed is actually good, big and comfy. This makes everything worse.

'Wood for fire' were my father's words when he came in my room some years ago to make a inspection, not just to beat me and he saw the big wooden closet of my mother, which actually had some beautiful design, it had a beautiful wood if that was even possible and it burned so beautifully in the fireplace.

I think the big closed annoyed him from when I was even younger because it was my favorite and almost the only hiding place I ever had.

Now, my clothes are in the corner of the room, where the closet once has been, but now I use that corner and the floor as a closet.

'Not that I have many clothes anyway.' I thought as I closed my eyes, and collapsed on the bed, ignoring my hunger until I gave up.

'I can't sleep…again.'

As if the whole world it's against me, the house is no different, the floor squeaks with my every step, it's not like I am fat, quite the opposite, I barely even eat, my hunger is the one that doesn't let me sleep, and it's nothing new about it, but like every day when he has beat me, I can live without food, he thinks.

And so, here I am, in the middle of the night in a dark old house on the stairs that lead to my room, and that also lead to a medium size hall.

I walk slowly so I won't make any sound. And when I finally reach the last step, I stop.

I look at my right where the big dining room is or living room, at my left is the kitchen. However, at this hour, someone is in the dining room 'cause the light it's on and now that I reached the last step, I can listen to the voices so I will know who is in there and not to my panicked mood.

"I can't believe this..." I heard a voice saying, outraged. I immediately recognized it.

'Mr. Yasuhiro, why is he here at this hour?'

I thought quietly but in the same time, firmly.

"You can't believe many things, my friend."

The other voice is also of a man, my father and I also know that certain tone, he's drunk and Mr. Yasuhiro is not.

He probably brought some wine for him and my father to 'taste' it. But my father being the alcoholic that he is, has drank so much that he is drunk, and the old man couldn't possibly pass the chance to ask my father some personal questions.

But I don't want to know.

I silently continued to walk, until I reached the kitchen and took half of bread, I immediately begun to devour it like it was the best food I have ever tasted, and it is.

I made some sounds of pleasure just from the old bread until something moved some plates in the table in front of me and a bit at my left.

'Not that rat!'

The rat that owns our kitchen or any place where we have food eats better than we do, or at least than I do.

'I think that even a stray dog eats better than me.'

After I took one last bite, I let myself to slip against the old wall to the ground, at my left the door stays closed, I stood there in silence for several minutes until a plate has fell and has broke, smashed by the sandstone, the rat being the obvious reason.

Petrified in my place, I stood, I even refused to breathe, I couldn't think, the fear took control of me.

"W...who's in the...there?"

I heard a voice saying right at the door of the kitchen, and I already knew that my father has never caught me stealing food until now even if I barely eat a bit, he will think that the food that was ate by the rat has been ate by me.

In his drunken state...

'God take me now...' I thought while I closed my eyes and in the same time, the kitchen door was opened with such force that it hit the other wall.

I didn't look but I realized that the weak light was on, and I could hear that they are both in the kitchen at my left.

"You fifthly rat!" I heard my dad saying and I knew that he wasn't talking to the real rat but with me.

I opened my eyes to see my father with a bottle of wine in his right hand and with red cheeks. Mr. Yasuhiro stands behind him with a both confused and worried face, and then he has begun to talk to my father:

"William, calm down, he was probably just..." He said but my father cut him off with his screams but I understood every word that he said.

All this has happened in seconds or maybe because my heart was beating so fast, it all looked terrifying.

"This is the last time you'll steal from me!" He yelled, his voice, perfectly clear.

And then, I saw red and black, I knew 'cause I could see everything for a while, the bottle smashed by my head, the one that has smashed it, my own father.

But after that, my father left as if nothing has happened but Mr. has kneeled in front of me and has put both of his hands on my cheeks, covering them with blood.

I saw his lips moving, I knew that he said something but I couldn't hear, I could just see and I couldn't understand.

My ears howl so much that I couldn't hear anything and soon, I couldn't see anything but black.

I lost my conscious.

When I woke up it was with a severe headache, my eyelids too heavy to lift, my body too heavy to move, and the reality just unbearable.

However, after staying unmoved for more than I could estimate and after falling asleep and waking up without moving for too many times, I finally decided that I should know where I am.

Being completely without any clue but didn't really want to know either. What I knew without opening my eyes was that I am on a bed, the only thing I could realize.

And just when I decided that I will never open my eyes again, I heard a voice of a man talking to me:

"Wake up already!"

I didn't know from where it came, but what I knew is that it wasn't a voice of someone that I knew and the tone was annoyed and without patience.

After staying more minutes in silence, I opened my heavy eyelids to look at a completely white ceiling.

'I am in a hospital? Again?' I thought quietly and a sigh wanted to come out but I stopped it.

'It hurts to breathe...' I thought and I closed my eyes again.

"Don't dare to fucking fall asleep again!" I heard someone screaming and without knowing why, I opened my eyes.

I realized that the voice came from my left.

When I almost completely twisted my neck with much difficulty on the white pillow, I succeeded enough to stay like that and to stay with my eyes open, and it was to meet dark brown eyes, black hair, pale face with a scar on its right cheek and thin lips.

'Another patient?' I thought but I said nothing.

"How the hell can you sleep so much?"

He asked me, and I didn't know how to react, it was like it didn't matter who I am or that I never saw him again, he is so...warm.

"...how much..." I asked with a broken voice and it hurt just to look at him but I somehow kept my eyes open just so he won't yell again.

"Three fucking days." He said like it's a state but a bit ironical.

"Who the hell brought you in this state?" He asked with a frown on his face.

And it all rushed back in my tired mind:

'_All this has happened in seconds or maybe because my heart was beating so fast, it all looked terrifying._

_"This is the last time you'll steal from me!" He yelled, his voice, perfectly clear._

_And then, I saw red and black, I knew 'cause I could see everything for a while, the bottle smashed to my head, the one that has thrown it, my own father._

_But after, my father left as if nothing has happened but Mr. has kneeled in front of me and has put both of his hands on my cheeks, covering them with blood._

_I saw his lips moving, I knew that he said something but I couldn't hear, I could just see and to don't understand._

_My ears howl so much that I soon couldn't hear anything and soon, I couldn't see anything but black. I lost my conscious. '_

I wanted to cry but just when the memory stopped playing in my mind, I heard him talking once again:

"I'll kill the guy! So tell me who he is!" He said, with a demanding voice.

My eyes were staring wide opened at him with confusion, and shock.

I continued to stare at him and he continued to stare at me, right in my eyes, exploring.

And even if it hurt, I smiled.

"Why the fuck are you smiling? Are you a sadist or what?" He said and I continued to smile, I almost begun laughing, he also smiled back and just then after so many years I smiled for real and laughed for real.

It didn't hurt.

To be continued…

AN (2): Finished! The first part of it at least, I hope everybody liked and that nobody thought it was very boring.

Oh, and Yasuhiro means: 1) calm and leisurely; 2) most calm; 3) most respectful and 4) abundant tranquility. Just so you won't want to search for it because it's annoying to find, I wanted to name him like truth but I thought that he is very calm and all that, anyway, you will now more.

I know it's a bother for both you and me for another 2 or 3 chapters with part 1 and part 2, etc but I just can't do it differently.

If there's any mistake tell me where, I had problems while writing because everybody kept yelling at me to study and get away from the computer! I was stopped several times so tell me if I did some mistakes somewhere, I also didn't correct it enough times. So...sorry.

Oh, and inuyasha9lover you have a heart of a saint, I just want to thank you for 100 times for your kind and sweet reviews, I hope I didn't disappoint you, I worked harder and I hope you also liked this chapter.

You really made me happy and encouraged me to write. Thank you. I will keep it up!

The next chapter might be up in a week or two. Maybe sooner if I get many reviews! Not because I want to threaten but because they really make me write. Again, thank you.  
Ps: I have a new poll; I'll wait patiently for votes.

): Japanese name meaning 1) "calm and leisurely," 2) "most calm," 3) "most respectful, and 4) "abundant tranquility."


	11. Chapter 11:Part 2 Our story

When you are young, it's normal that at first, you won't have any friend, or you have a bad relationship with your sister, brother or even with your parents. And sometimes, you don't even have sisters, brothers or parents.

What I know for sure is that I have always complained within myself, I have always thought the same-old question: 'What if…?'

I have always blamed the missing people from my life. 'What if my mother was here?'; 'What if my father would've been different?' and 'What if I actually had friends?' Of course these will always remain questions with no answer.

I have even blamed the way I am, the relatives whom I don't have and friends might be missing because of who I am; personality, looks or both.

I have always thought that I have all the wrong people in my life, and that one special and perfect person that might be able to change everything, it's missing.

Strangers are a gift from God. Because no matter what the circumstances are when you met a new person, you might always feel the same.

The stranger doesn't knows what you have done in the past, doesn't know what you're afraid of or what your gestures really mean, if you are really a shy person or not, he makes the first impression you give him to become your personality, even if it's the complete opposite of who you really are or who you have been until that very moment.

Strangers are the start of a new path, a bright light at the end of the tunnel and a totally brand new chance that the stranger might be that certain special person which you have wanted for your entire life.

When you met it, you have nothing to lose, the things he doesn't know make you feel confident in yourself, and sometimes the totally opposite of who you are or were.

In the eyes of a stranger, you can be anybody you chose to be in that second, because maybe you'll never see the stranger again, or you will, but he will know just the small piece of what you've showed him.

The truth is that I never have actually believed in fate, destiny and not even in coincidences either, but what I believed in without even wanting to believe, is that a new person in your life, can change the past, the present, and the future.

And also, I strongly believe that the person you make yourself to be in front to a stranger is sometimes more real than the one you make yourself to be in front of people you know you'll be meeting every day from then. Because you know it has no consequence after, so you'll show the stranger, the real you.

The stranger can make everything brighter or darker, it's also his choice. Don't you think?  
Chapter 11: Our story

I wanted to cry but just when the memory stopped playing in my mind, I heard him talking once again:

"I'll kill the guy! So tell me who he is!" He said, with a demanding voice.

My eyes were staring wide opened at him with confusion, and shock.

I continued to stare at him and he continued to stare at me, right into my eyes, exploring.

And even if it hurt, I smiled.

"Why the fuck are you smiling? Are you a sadist or what?" He said and I continued to smile, I almost started to laugh, he also smiled back and just then, after so many years, I smiled for real and laughed for real.

It didn't hurt.

He continued to ask me questions like: 'Why are you laughing?', and the questions were always followed by 'stupid' or other colorful swears, but it only made me laugh harder.

The expression of his face was nothing close to angry, but smiling, and swearing in the same time, asking me the same question but with different words, repeatedly.

The noise I hear echoing in the small white room, it's my laughter. Strange at first, really unfamiliar, but after laughing more than I could estimate, I realized. It is mine, with my voice, and with my joy within it.

This scene continued until I was exhausted. I stay on my butt on the bed; trying hard to catch my breath, to calm down. And with an unknown power, I brought my fingers to my eyes.

'Tears of joy?'

Shocked, or terrified? I couldn't tell. As I stared at my hands, with my head close to them, like this is the first time I really see my hands, like I have been blind my entire life until now. A little wet, with tears, my eyes, and also a bit, my hands, with a few tears on them.

I stood like that, leaned, or more like waiting for my tears to fall on my hands. Like the earth, prepared, for the rain to fall on it.

But no. Not even one single tiny tear. It was like they refused to fall...

"Why are you crying?" He asked me with a completely different voice than before, worried, sincere and more than anything, a voice so clear...

And my tears have begun to fall, like they were waiting for his words.

But despite what I thought, my tears were tears of joy, at a certain moment, but they actually have turned into tears of pain as the image of my father has appeared into my mind, and along with my entire past.

But I made no sound, I just watched with wide eyes, as the tears fell from my eyes, in the palms of my hands.

'Dirty way of crying.' I thought but I said nothing, I didn't move but something moved me.

"Stop..." He whispered, as he embraced me from my side, a voice so warm and also, a body so warm.

Tears fell a little longer, and as I stood like that, with him embracing me and caressing my red hair, surrendering to his warmth and with my head on his chest, his steady and calm heart beat has played the sweetest lullaby to me.

I fell asleep like that.

I woke up to the same room but with the light turned off, and for some seconds, I asked myself why I woke up in the first place. My mind has automatically responded to my question.

'I had a nightmare...No...It wasn't a nightmare.'

In fact, I had a calm and beautiful dream; that is what scared me. It was so calm and so beautiful that I woke myself up, afraid that it will turn into a terrible nightmare.

The comforting darkness with the rays of the moon as the only existing light, and they're barely gently entering from the window with its pulled curtains, the silence, and the warmth...

I opened my eyes just once, to look at the windows, and then I closed my eyes again, even if I woke up, I guess it became a habit after refusing to do so for more than I can estimate, to just ignore everything and close my eyes.

Even so, in the dense silence, there was one sound, so very close to me.

'Someone ...breathing...' this thought made me realize that just the blanket alone wouldn't be able to provide me such warmth, and comfort.

I opened my eyes, to realize that he's in bed with me. I am embraced by him, this time, totally.

His embrace is warm, and it's like he's protecting me. Just then I realized when and how I fell asleep.

_"Stop..." He whispered, as he embraced me from my side, a voice so warm, a body so warm. _

_Tears fell a little longer, and as I stood like that, with him embracing me and caressing my red hair, surrendering to his warmth and with my head on his chest, his steady and calm heart beat has played the sweetest lullaby to me._

_I fell asleep like that._

And despite what one would think, I would normally have had jumped and freaked out by now, this has never happened to me. Not even once in my entire life.

'But this person...' I thought and I entered further into his embrace.

'If it's him, I don't mind.' I thought, and I closed my eyes.

Once again, I fell asleep.

Days have passed since then, but I still remember that moment, and I still linger for his warmth.

Even if I'll never admit it, not to mention to say it to him, out loud. He'd probably just laugh anyway.

However, right now, he's still with me in the hospital, even if we're still strangers to each other.

All that I found out about him is that his name is 'Cloud'. But he never said his family name; he didn't even mention his family, not even once.

I just don't dare to ask the questions that have bothered me for quite some time now: 'From where are you?' or 'How did you get here?' and many other countless questions.

But every time I pick my words carefully in my mind, and every time I feel even just a little bit ready to ask him, I just say his name and he looks at me, with his big brown eyes, like caramel, and he looks into mine, already knowing what I want, and with his eyes, he asks me not to fulfill my wish.

As if saying: 'Not yet.'

And every time it ends the same:

He says "What?" with a voice so sincere, but never looking away from my eyes. He's always stopping me with that certain glance.

And I swallow my question, and I respond with a simple: "Nothing."

I completely gave up on asking him something that he doesn't wants to tell me.

So I decided to wait for whatever might come.

And now, he's on his bed, and I'm sitting on mine.

Before me, a doctor and behind the doctor, a nurse and everything, the walls, their clothes are all white.

"You're doing very well; you can go home when you want." He said smiling to me and I just got more confused than I was before, if that was even possible.

The doctor and the nurse made signs that they wanted to leave, when the doctor reached the door, I begun to speak to him, stopping him in his tracks.

"What do you mean, when I want?" I asked and for the first time, the doctor has stared at Cloud.

Since I woke up, nobody checked up Cloud, nobody even looked at him twice. It's like he existed just for me. He was a bit cold to everybody, but me, or mostly, he's cold with everybody else but me, but I'm still clueless about everything.

A question which should have appeared into my mind from the first time when I woke up, weeks ago, or a month ago, just now, it finally made its appearance:

"Who brought me here?"

I asked nobody but me, and still, I asked the question out loud, and the doctor completely turned, and continued to stare intensely at Cloud, which looked away from his persistent gaze.

Usually, Cloud would already yell something like 'What are you looking at?', but none of them says a word, none of them seem like they're planning to respond to any of my questions.

Just then, I got the idea that Cloud knows something that I don't. And without restraining myself further, I stopped staring at the doctor, and instead, I stared at Cloud, who looks out the window, at the trees.

When I looked back at the doctor, he already made two steps toward the door, and I just opened my mouth to say something, but then, I closed it back. I looked at the nurse.

And, the nurse it's staring at the floor, and she won't look up, as if she's embarrassed about something, as if she has ...orders.

'Even the nurse...'

I heard the door closing, but I wasn't looking in that direction anymore, instead, directly at the opposite direction.

Soon enough, when I didn't get any reaction, not even a glance, I almost tripped while I was running to his bed. I put myself on it, right in front of Cloud, certainly in front of his body, but not of his eyes, because in front of his eyes it exits a wall and a window.

"Cloud, tell me..." I said with a calm voice, but with a heavy tone. From my every word, you could hear the importance and the seriousness of the subject.

But Cloud refused to look at me. So, I put my arms on his shoulders, then I said his name, and then, I begun to shake him, but he seemed immune to all that was around him, including me.

"Cloud please, tell me what you know, I don't even want to go home so it'll be okay, no matter what it is. Cloud?" I said, begging him, and just then, he looked at me, even if it's as though he doesn't sees me.

'Why are you looking like you're in pain?' I wanted to ask, I thought, but I kept quiet.

He just stared at me, took my hands from his shoulders, and kept my hands in his hands.

'My hands are so cold and yours...so warm...'

I thought but again, I waited, waited for him to speak; he opened his mouth, but with no sound.

We stood like this for several minutes, I almost lost my calm, and when I was about to shout, he brought my hands to his lips, and he kissed them.

I felt my cheeks burning a little. Refusing to think about anything, but he kept his lips on my hands, and all I could do was to look.

With his lips very close to my hands, while he kept them with his own hands, he whispered:

"Some guy, Yasuhiro, has brought you here." He said, and then he stopped, but he didn't look up.

"Yeah, he's a friend of my dad...but why ..." I said but he cut me off, talking from the same position.

"He gave enough money for you to stay here for two years, and he spoke to me, not to the doctor, because he said that he doesn't have time to wait for the doctor to come..." He said and I waited again.

'So what?' I wanted to ask, but what I understood was why the doctor was acting as if we could stay here no matter what, both me and him, and the only questions that I asked him, every time, he answered, but just the questions about my health, now, I get it.

'He looked at Cloud, because he's the only one who can answer, he's the only one who knows, and he, as a doctor, has done his job and that's it, but...'

"What did he say?" I asked, and I hated how my voice sounded.

From the same position he said:

"He told me that your father will never accept you to live in his house again..." He responded, and in the back of my mind, I could just comment: 'my mother's house' but I continued to listen as he spoke.

"And he said that if you want to live with him, then he'll gladly raise you, like his own son, and he even gave me an address, and he said that he'll never bother you if you chose not to live with him, and also..."

In a way, I already knew why he didn't had time to stay with me, he just gave money for them to take care of me, for me to be able to have a new start, and as soon as he knew that I am safe, he moved from his house, from that town, far away from there, from my father and also, from my mother.

'After all, he really loved my mother, and to do all this...' I thought and I closed my eyes but immediately opened them as I felt Cloud moving.

And when I opened my eyes, was to look directly into Cloud eyes, at one centimeter distance.

"And also, he told me that right after your father hit you and….all that …he… he killed himself..." I heard the words, and somehow, I could also see.

'I remember...'

_My head hurts, and I feel the blood on my eyes, it bothers me._

_"God, have mercy..." I heard a voice saying very close to me, and I immediately recognized it._

_'Mr. Yasuhiro?' I thought, but even thinking seemed to be hard, my thoughts moved slow, it was like I was reading a line, letter with letter, not understanding what word they're forming, barely understanding what the sentence means._

_I felt like something moves me, and I felt the urge to tell the person who moves me to stop._

_'I don't want to move, I want to sleep...' I thought and soon enough, it felt like I was no longer on the floor, which bothered me._

_Weak light entered through my closed eyes, and with an unknown will and reason, I opened my eyes._

_In front of me, the living room's door is open, the light comes from there, and I see my father, standing on a chair, with a rope in his hands, he binds the old chandelier with it._

'I knew all along. But I refused to remember, I refused to think or to acknowledge.'

I closed my eyes, I realized that when I realized that I see the memory of what happened as if it's in front of me, but I don't see Cloud.

'Mr. Yasuhiro was so worried about me, carrying me with so much gentleness, while praying to God, but still, I wonder if he saw...'

I opened my eyes and I refused to think about it further. Instead, I looked at Cloud who seemed worried, who looked at me as if I was about to break in two, and my hands were still in his.

His hands holding firmly but gently, my own hands.

"It's fine." I said, because I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Instead, he ignored my lie.

"I'm sorry..." He said and I avoided his worried gaze, with all my might, but I know he searches for the truth in my eyes. But there is none.

"It's not your fault." I said and it was the truth and still, just then, it clicked.

_I wanted to cry but just when the memory stopped playing in my mind, I heard him talking once again:_

_"I'll kill the guy! So tell me who he is!" He said, with a demanding voice._

_My eyes were staring wide opened at him with confusion, and shock._

_I continued to stare at him and he continued to stare at me, right into my eyes, exploring.'_

'Why? When I cried and you told me to stop, and even when you slept with me in the same bed, when you embraced me, when you seemed to care just about me, you've talked just with me, these whole weeks, not because you liked me, not because you cared...'

All these thoughts have crushed me down, and so, I took my hands back, I got off of his bed, and this entire time, I could feel my chest burning.

"Ryuu?" He said my name as I started to run away, and soon enough, I was on the corridor, running, and he was running after me.

But I got tired, and after I opened the door, to go down the stairs, I slowed down a bit, and that's when he caught me.

Pushed me to the wall, and kept me there.

"Let me go!" I screamed, and I hit him with my fists, with my leg a bit, but he continued to embrace me, he continued to receive all of my blows, I even scratched him, but he didn't say a word. He didn't even make one sound of pain.

"What's wrong with you? Let go!" I screamed and kicked until I began to cry. I slipped on the wall, and he did the same, along with me, embraced.

I tried to push him away but he didn't move an inch.

I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine. I immediately felt the urge to run away again.

I feel as if he looks at someone who needs help, who is sick, who is weak...

"I don't need your pity! Do you hear me? I hate you! I don't need your pity!"

I screamed and tears started to fell from my eyes, the second time when I cried, and he's still here to see me.

I still look at him, and I cry in the same time, but he has no expression on his face.

"What pity?" He asked me and I was so startled that I couldn't but scream, outraged.

"It was pity from the start, wasn't it? You took care of me this entire time and you put me above everybody else, just because you know that my father brought me in this state, and that he also killed himself! What did you think? I'll help the orphan; he's weak and stupid anyway! Wouldn't it be nice to...?"

I cried, and I screamed, until my words have died in my throat.

With wide opened eyes, and with tears slowly falling from them, I stared at closed eyes until mine, also, have closed.

No sound could be heard, after I yelled so much...

Ironically, at one certain second I thought that he's the only one who would've been able to make me shut up.

And it's ridiculous, how in the same time, I thought that this is, probably, the only effective way.

I am exhausted, so I don't have any strength left to push him away, even if my hands are on his chest, but I just keep them there, feeling how quick his heart beats.

His right hand holds my hair, protecting me from hitting the wall, but also holding it rough, pulling it a little.

His other hand was on my waist and now it slid down, to my thigh, on my right side, pulling me very close to him, while I stay a little weird. With my head against the wall, with his hand there, pulling at my hair and with the rest of my body, against his, as he pulls me closer to him and he also pushes himself on me, closer to the wall.

His lips on my lips, since my lips were already parted, 'cause he begun to kiss me when I was screaming, so his tongue dances with my tongue, and now, he bites at my lower lip, but when I want to say something, he kisses me again, entirely making the words to turn into moans.

'I can't move.' I thought somehow rather quickly, but then as his actions have slowed down, I couldn't, but to think again: 'I don't want to move."

However, his actions, indeed, have slowed down, but that only made me feel more pulled in, into his haze, into his heat and into his everything.

After the kisses have abruptly stopped, I opened my eyes, to look into his eyes, which are staring directly into mine.

Like you were waiting for my approval, a smile, a word or mostly a sign that I didn't felt disgusted by it, or anything close to it.

Even so, I stubbornly refused to show any sign of pleasure or disgust.

However, my expressionless face and my hands around your neck are two different signs.

'You're waiting.' I thought, and a sigh has escaped through your lips, and in that moment, I was caught, I could see it in your eyes.

'Why am I staring at your lips? Or … why can't I look elsewhere?'

It was enough for you, or at least that's what I thought when you hungrily started to lick my bottom lip, then to bite it, and then again, to lick it. After that, our eyes have met again.

But then I couldn't see yours anymore, as I raised my head a little, unconsciously giving you space for you to kiss my neck.

'It's too much...' I thought in the second when I was able to open my eyes to see the white ceiling, then to close my eyes again from the intense pleasure.

'My cheeks, I feel them burning...' This thought was the last one that has passed through my mind before I could no longer think straight.

"Stop ..." I said, in a rush as you've started to take my blouse off.

What surprised me is that you've actually stopped.

'And I was so sure that you'll never listen to me...'

I thought somehow relieved while you've arranged the blouse on me.

'The way he acts with everybody, and even with me, never letting me to say no... Who would've thought...?'

These thoughts were proved while you checked me for any bruises, and further arrangements of my clothes, and then, your hands on my waist, and a sweet peck on my lips.

After this scene, we silently walked back to our room; we didn't uttered one single word. However, everybody from the corridor was very curious and worried about what has happened, the one that has crazily yelled before, now walks calm to his room with the other boy who has never had a quiet reputation from the beginning.

You climbed into my bed, like a thief sneaking into a house, and while I let you embrace me, you've quietly whispered to me:

"What's your decision?" you asked me and I was a bit confused about the sudden unknown subject.

In the warmth of the bed, the silence of the night, with my eyes closed and the comfort from the white soft pillow and your embrace, it all has put me in a sleepy mood very quickly, but somehow, I've found the strength to continue our conversation:

"My decision about what?" I said, slowly and sleepy, in a whisper.

"You'll go and live with that guy?" You asked rather quickly, but very clear. However, it took me seconds to realize what you've just said, and when I did; my eyes have opened, wide and attentive.

When I opened them, I met your eyes that had the same worried glance in them.

'You're waiting for my answer...' I thought and I closed my eyes. I tried to think about my answer.

'Do I really want to go to live with Mr. Yasuhiro? And if I stay, what I'll do? Where I'll live?' I asked myself these questions, and a voice louder than my thoughts has spoke from outside, from reality:

"I'm asking you if you want to live with me..." When you finished your sentence, I opened my eyes to stare into yours again.

'The question is: Am I able to leave you behind?' I asked myself this and I continued to stare into your eyes.

'If it's you...then...' With my eyes on your lips, I said:

"If you're fine with it..."

It didn't seem that you were convinced, so I quietly, but clearly whispered to you:

"Yes."

The moment I said this word, a smile has appeared on your lips, and you kissed me until it was fine for us to stay just embraced.

'Just now I realize why it took you so long to tell me about Yasuhiro…'

With this thought slowly said into my mind, and with a final glance at your closed eyes, I fell asleep.

And as always, I woke up in the middle of the night, in your arms, in your warmth, and the only sound that only I can hear it's the lullaby of your heart beat.

As the memories of today played into my mind; and mostly, the memories before we fell asleep today, a thought has crossed through my mind, and a smile through my lips.

'Who would've thought that you actually care about me?'

However, none of us could've predicted what was about to happen in the following day.

To be continued…

Took me long enough to write this one, yeah I know, this become a bit …romantic… don't know if I should do a lemon in the next one or not, you tell me.

Anyway, if there's any mistake, tell me where, if you want of course. I'm sick, I have fever and won't bother you with the rest of my problems and I feel so ill and sleepy that I barely see what I type so for real, if there's any mistake and if you have the time, tell me where, 'cause I really can't read it anymore, I read for 3 times or 4? I am not able to do it again.

So, hope everybody likes this chapter, though it's a bit pink in the middle of the black, huh.

Hundred of thanks to inuyasha9lover who has reviewed my chapters, which means the world to me, thank you very much, hope I didn't disappoint you.

PS: The next chapter won't take very much, I hope, but reviews will make me update faster or type or however you want to name it (yeah, I'm evil).

And again, new poll about the types of characters you, the readers or even writers want in stories. Check it out if you're interested, I am in your answers.

See you next time, thank you.


	12. Chapter 12:Part 3 Our story

AN: This chapter it's dedicated to inuyasha9lover. Along with 1000 of thank you.

Oh, and warning: Lemon.

Now, enjoy:

Someone wise has once said: „Home it's where your heart is."

Chapter 12: Part 3- Our story

„So, what do you think?"

Your voice clear and serious, while I still looked around, inspecting, searching for something, for anything.

The small apartment, but cozy and sweet seemed to be perfect, if not, then it seemed to be just enough for me.

After I agreed to live with him, he wasted no time in that hospital. You could say that he almost took me by force to leave the hospital at once, with him, and to come here.

From what I understood, he owns this apartment. Though, his father pays for it.

But he said that he lives here all alone, he studies here, eats and sleeps.

While watching the table with a carpet under it, I can almost see him with his head on the low table, exhausted after hours of studying.

The clean, but not too big kitchen, and yet another table on which a white mug stays. I can imagine him, drinking from it in the morning, right in the chair that's in front of it.

In the massive principal room of the apartment where in the very left corner it's a huge comfy bed with its white sheets and a very big fluffy blanket, the only bed from the whole apartment, I can imagine him sleeping peacefully in it, while his hair is spread on the big white pillow, with his lips parted, and the blanket just halfway pulled over him.

"For what are you spacing out stupid? Ryuu…come here…"

He said, firm at first, and then gentle, in a whisper, as I stared at his stretched hand. Just to realize that I was staring at his bed while thinking, imagining or mostly, day dreaming.

'But I wasn't implying anything…'

As if he got jealous on his own bed, he quickly sat on it, blocking my view on it, just for me to stare at him.

With his hand stretched, I hesitated while I still stood in the middle of the room.

But when reality hit me, I've begun to make small steps toward him.

Even though, for a second, I was surprised that he actually stood there with his hand stretched for me to take it, for more than two minutes, he watched me and my every move, and with my every breath and step, it felt as if I was too far away from him, until I arrived in front of him and accepted his hand.

He kissed it.

Outside, heavy rain wets the earth and as I can see, the windows of the apartment.

However, even if it's the middle of the day, outside it's a little bit too dark; the dense rain covering everything, the sky looks as if he's crying.

'For what or for whom? I can't tell.'

So I wondered why, because for the first time when it rained, I didn't felt lonely, not anymore.

His lips on my pale hand and his eyes wide open, staring at me, later to realize that he's been staring at my lips, while I unconsciously bowed to meet his waiting and already parted lips.

With one hand still in mine, while with the other on my waist, he gently pushes me toward him, our lips making short noises into the quiet room.

The only other noise it's the rain, outside, its cry echoing all around the apartment, but not a disturbing cry, instead, it's comforting.

He licked my lips, and then bit my bottom lip to explore with his tongue the insides of my mouth. And a slow dance has started, but the kiss is so tender and so slow that it only turns me on more.

Without realizing, he succeeds, because he guided me above him, while he stays on his back, on the bed.

But this position didn't last long. He caught my tongue with his white teeth and I somehow pulled my head back a little, to have my tongue sucked back into his mouth.

He switched us, with small movements. His hands under my T-shirt, big warm hands touching my back as he tenderly put me under him. However, not even once he stopped kissing me.

Until, at once certain point, he decided that we've kissed enough. I felt a little bit impatient, even though I couldn't tell what I was expecting, but I felt drunk, because I can't think clearly anymore.

His lips, teeth and tongue on my earlobe then slowly advancing to my neck, and with his hands still under my T-shit, one close to my nipple and the other one a little bit lower, under my waist.

'I can't think…' I complained into my mind as though I felt the need to think rationally about my feelings and about his actions, mostly, about what we are about to do.

Because the impatience grew stronger and stronger, making me to occasionally grab harder to the back of his white shirt.

Even though, when his tongue tasted my jaw, I gave up on thinking.

I feel drunk because of his smell, even if I can't tell if it's his perfume or his own smell, but it's intoxicating.

'I can't get enough…'

I feel drunk because of his gentle actions, which are slowly driving me insane, with each kiss and lick after each sweet bite, as if saying sorry for causing even the smallest pain, but for me, it's a good pain, a pleasure that I've never felt before in my entire life.

'I don't want this to end…'

I feel drunk because of his big hands that are embracing me, guiding me to be whenever he wants me to be, touching me, caressing every bit of skin that he can reach. Long slim fingers with a bit tanned skin looking like chocolate on milk, because my skin that's very white.

'Touch me more…'

For a second, I felt confused when I couldn't feel his mouth on me anymore, and his hands, then to realize that he's taking off my T-shirt, he pulled it up and took it off, he threw it somewhere on the ground, then he put his hand on my now ruffled hair, and he pressed his lips to my lips, his chest to my chest, and his hips to my hips.

The hand that was on my red hair, slowly slid to my ear, it felt ticklish but in a good way, then to my neck and then to my nipple, and when he pulled at it, a moan escaped my lips while we were still kissing, and then he continued to kiss me, but not my lips, again, my ear, then my neck and then lower, and when he formed small circles around my nipple with his tongue, and then he bit it, I couldn't stop my moans, but right after, I could feel his smirk on my nipple.

He must feel pleased with himself, for making me make such sounds.

I also heard them, echoing in the room along with the still pouring rain. They were strange, unknown, because my own voice seemed unfamiliar to me, as if it belonged to someone else but soon, I couldn't hear myself anymore.

The pleasure has clouded my mind.

However, I started to unconsciously tremble and to dig my nails into his wide back.

Because he traveled lower and lower, until he was at the hem of my pants. My green eyes, attentive and somehow, alarmed, my heart beating too fast, and also, breathing too fast.

With one hand touching just a bit after the hem of my pants, he looked up at me, and also came up to kiss my lips.

And with one hand on my left cheek and his lips with just one millimeter away from mine, together breathing in each other's mouths, with his other hand, he advanced to my butt and grabbed it.

"Ah…"

It was moan? It was something else? I couldn't realize, my eyes on his parted lips, and all the feelings that took control of me, didn't prepare me an answer for his question.

"Are you okay with…?"

As if saying the rest of his question, he again but this time, more gently grabbed the left cheek of my butt.

In that second, everything stopped. I didn't look at his lips anymore, even though I still felt the warm breaths on my lips, colliding with my own breath.

I searched into his eyes, as he searched into mine.

I could again hear the sky crying outside; however, the wind was unreasonably quiet.

We stood like this for seconds or minutes, even so, after all, he seemed to have lost his patience when with his hand that was still on my butt he pushed me toward him, into his groin, and then he rubbed up and down along with mine, another moan escaped my lips, and my eyes were no longer focused and reasonable, but clouded, my thoughts nowhere in sight, just emotions.

And after he bit my lips, and pushed himself into me harder and also pushing me into him closer, I barely heard myself when I responded:

"Yeah…"

The answer was half of a word and half of a moan, but he took it as a complete affirmative answer, and he kissed my lips with desire, as if he was hungry, and we tasted each other's mouth for several seconds or maybe minutes, still, it didn't felt enough.

He then traveled down as he bit my nipple along the way, but even with this small comfort from him, I could feel myself starting to tremble once again.

He gave a small peck to the skin above the hem of my pants.

And then I could feel his hands taking off my pants, lower and lower, until I could no longer feel them, and then to hear something that fell to the floor, because in the dense silence, it was impossible not to hear.

Or maybe I am too self-conscious…

Even so, I didn't realize that he took my boxers along with my pants until I felt his lips on my naked member.

I grabbed the white bed sheet because he was too far so I couldn't touch his back anymore.

So, I dig my nails into the blameless mattress.

Then I felt his tongue giving it a long lick to all of it.

'My cheeks are probably red by now…'

This was my quiet thought because then I felt his hand caressing it.

I looked down at him, just the catch the moment when he took it inside his warm mouth, because after that, I've dug my nails harder into the mattress and pushed the back of my head into it.

I can't keep my head up…

With my mouth open, I tried to hold back my moans but didn't completely succeed, as he repeatedly took me into his mouth, fully, up and down, and when he stopped, I, without knowing why, I rose my head as best as I could, a little, to watch him and when he realized that, with one hand still caressing it, he made small circles at the tip of my member.

My head crashed onto the bed again, and I could feel his smirk against my skin again, as moans echoed in the silent room, I cried along with the sky.

When he took my member again into his mouth and licked all around it, I put my hand onto my eyes and pulled a little at my hair, for a second, but the pain from the rough treatment I was applying to my hair seemed inexistent for me.

With my eyes closed shut but my mouth wide open, and my hands still grabbing the bed sheet nervously, I tried to speak:

"I… coo…m…"

I couldn't even finish one word, but he seemed to have understood what I was saying, because his mouth wasn't on it anymore, just his hand and then, when I said it, his mouth returned to its place.

I came into his mouth.

'I can't believe it…' I thought this as I grabbed the pillow, and I've put it on my red face.

"Don't cover your face; I want to see it…"

He said; sounding really disturbed as he gently tried to take my hands off the pillow.

But he was gentle while I am stubborn and I hold on strongly and confident to the pillow with my both hands.

Nevertheless, he refused to use the same method, so he used his own.

I don't know where his hands were for some seconds, because they surely weren't on me, however, he didn't get off me because he still was above and on me.

Then I felt quick and sure, one of his hands, moving my legs, spreading them but I didn't had time to react at all, because I soon felt a warm and wet finger entering me in the next second, a cry of pain, of pleasure, or maybe both.

The pillow was thrown to the floor along with the other clothes. I stared into his eyes and he stared into mine, as he pushed the long and slim finger deeper into me.

Tiny cries escaped my lips as his finger explored deeper.

But just when I felt a bit used with it, he took it out and I stared as he unzipped his pants. To also realize that he took his shirt off and that his chest was completely exposed to me, still, I was barely aware that on the other hand, I am completely naked, even my socks have mysteriously disappeared, even if I didn't felt or seen when he took them off.

I was distracted by his naked chest that was beautifully tanned and muscled, and on each side of his shoulders, my skinny white legs stood, even if I don't remember putting them there.

His eyes were still looking down so when I stopped inspecting him, so I arrived on his face then to look at where he was looking, it was to meet his naked huge member that was just one centimeter away from entering me.

I didn't have one second to react when the intense pain spread from my butt to my whole body. I started to tremble again.

He put himself on me, so my hands were now again on his muscled back, holding tight, his mouth above mine, breathing together, but then, he entered a bit more again, and the pain was excruciating.

I bit onto his shoulder from the pain; I moaned and screamed; I dug my nails into his back so hard that at one certain second, I had no strength left into my hands. But he didn't complain at all.

He entered a bit further and this time I couldn't but talk, completely at my limit:  
"It hurts…Cloud…it… Ah…"  
My screams of pain seemed to arrive on deaf ears because he continued to enter, he continued to push further.

'I feel like crying…'

Even my thoughts seemed desperate, so I continued to moan and scream, to dig my nails into his back, and occasionally bite him, as he entered completely.

He stood still, for some seconds and then he started to move and with the strength that has returned to me, even though I felt very weak, the pain made me use my entire strength to try and keep him still.

"Don't…it… hurts…" I said between long painful breaths.

He refused to stay still, and continued to move until he had a slow pace and the pain was fainter with each thrust.

My pained scrams and nails digging continued until my hands embraced his neck, quite relaxed but exhausted, and my mouth was covered with his, small moans parting our lips sometimes.

At once certain moment, I felt pleasure above all pain and above all the dizziness that covered my brain, eyes and body in some way.

I realized that he was fully inside of me, and his thrust was deeper and longer each time, as he hit one particular place each time.

'It doesn't hurt anymore…'

From slow, to a bit faster, then faster until we were strongly holding on to each other, together entering in each other, pushing, further, closer, both sweating, trying to kiss, bite, lick our mouths and necks, until I came and he also did, inside of me.

We meet halfway in that moment, kissing each other.

And so, outside it's still raining, that much I can tell, and I suddenly feel warmth and then a sweet peck onto my lips and then onto my cheek, I opened my eyes to see his eyes staring into mine.

He kissed me again, and embraced, we both fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes, it was to look at the white ceiling and then to unconsciously start searching with my hands all over the bed after him, but he was nowhere to be found.

I rose up a little to look all around the room, but there is no one around, the door of the kitchen was open but it was empty, at least the bit of it that I can see form bed, and the bathroom door is also open, all the lights are off, and the whole apartment is drowned in silence and in a comforting darkness.

I twisted and rolled all around the bed, until my head rested onto his pillow, just to meet my first thought in the late morning, very close to afternoon:  
'The bed…smells like him…'

An image from last night appeared into my mind, and I quickly closed my eyes, refusing to think further, refusing to realize or to acknowledge the reality, or past.

I open my eyes to look at the closed window, to see that outside it no longer rains, but the sky still looks heavy, grey clouds covering the sun.

I rolled again until I was looking at my right, at the rest of the room, in the direction of the door but also to see the only nightstand of his bed, while the other side it's collided with the wall and on that wall, the window.

On the nightstand, I see a white sheet, and I lazily but precisely stretch to take it, and then to try and read it.

On the half of a page, he wrote with a beautiful but messy handwriting, if that could be, a message for me: 'There's food in the fridge and painkillers on the kitchen table, I'll be back soon.'

A frown automatically made itself known on my face, as I finished reading and I've put the sheet back on the nightstand.

I rose up, a bit dizzy, to realize that I am still naked and I lazily walked to the only closed and picked up a big white T-shirt even though, it might be exactly his size but for me, it's too big, but it feels comfortable, while his smell lingers on it, and I also found my boxers on a chair that was right next to the closet where he folded all of my clothes.

However, I wanted to wear his T-shirt, I suddenly felt too lazy to put any pants on so I headed to the kitchen, at the halfway of my road; I felt my back attacking me with no mercy.

I struggled while I made the next steps toward the kitchen in the silent and dark apartment.

With my bare feet on the sandstone, I immediately felt a bit cold but the pain from my back was way stronger than any other tiny emotion.

I spotted the bottle with pills that was in the middle of the table, so I can see it, while other plastic bags with different things covered the rest of the table. I figured out that it was food, but they looked touched, so the actual food was really in the fridge but while I took the small bottle of pills into my hand, a thought appeared into my mind:  
'You left in such a rush that you didn't had time to put all the groceries back to their place?'

But I didn't have the time to answer to my own question that the pain stokes again, when I tried to make another step, so I immediately walked to the sink, took a glass and filled it with water.

"Shit…" I said as I slid to the floor and I've put the glass beside me, and my butt on the cold sandstone felt nice for some seconds while I opened the bottle of pills and took one, took it with water then I, without reason stared at the bottle to see that the price tag it's still on it.

"Where did you go, Cloud?" I asked the silence, even though in the back of my mind, I was making myself crazy because I already knew that no one will answer to my question.

However after three seconds, I heard the sound of keys in the apartment's door. I quickly rose up from the floor, and with the pain bottle falling from my hand along the way, with the glass still on the kitchen's floor, I almost ran in the middle of the room, to stare at the door that was being opened from the other side.

"Cloud?" I asked before the said person had enough time to actually enter in the room, and in my view.

But before I could even smile, without even knowing why I felt so desperate to see Cloud again, a cold shiver ran up my spine and then I felt sick and weak, as an old man stared back at me with a stern but a bit confused expression on his face.

"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" He asked me, and I opened my mouth just to close it again.

Somehow, in the silence, in that second, I missed the rain, because just now, I realize that the sky wasn't crying, wasn't sad, and wasn't to make me feel lonely, it was protecting me, protecting us.

Until now.

To be continued…

Finished! It looks like there will also be a part 4 because I couldn't tell you Cloud's story in this, but you see, inuyasha9lover agreed to my idea on making a lemon so I couldn't disappoint. But I tell you that this is still a SasuNaru story! For real, I just need you to know all this, it's important for later and for SasuNaru's relationship. Hope you like Ryuu and Cloud, 'cause they're very important, I wouldn't be wasting four chapters for them if not, still, I need you to like them because without them…ahem… almost told yea a secret…

For inuyasha9lover: Hope you liked it my dear, my computer it's still dead, and I'm still with the same annoying computer which blocks per minute, and I have a horrible headache and my health is not wonderful at all, but I just smiled at your sweet words, and you made me so happy to know that you like my story so much and couldn't wait to repay your wonderful reviews with a chapter, and with what you wanted. Hope you liked the lemon, I tried to make it a bit romantic, and I really don't like lemons without feelings but I also tried to make it as realistic possible. And thank you for 100 times, you are very sweet, thank you very much, you also make my days brighter, believe me.

However, I hope I'll be able to post soon, oh and if anybody sees a mistake, tell me where, I read it several times but as I said, this computer kills me and neither the computer nor I am in a wonderful health situation.

Oh, and Aimogene hope you're still reading and hope I also didn't disappoint you.

Hope everybody liked the first lemon of the story, well; it's the second in a way because the first was the very first chapter but that was rape, mostly, anyway, I'll shut up now, the next chapter will contain Cloud's story, let you people guess who's the old man, see you next time.

Thank you very much.


	13. Chapter 13:Part 4 His story

From the last chapter: "Where did you go, Cloud?" I asked the silence, even though in the back of my mind, I was making myself crazy because I already knew that no one will answer to my question.

However after three seconds, I heard the sound of keys in the apartment's door. I quickly rose up from the floor, and with the painkillers bottle falling from my hand along the way, with the glass still on the kitchen's floor, I almost ran in the middle of the room, to stare at the door that was being opened from the other side.

"Cloud?" I asked before the said person had enough time to actually enter in the room, and in my view.

But before I could even smile, without even knowing why I felt so desperate to see Cloud again, a cold shiver ran up my spine and then I felt sick and weak, as an old man stared back at me with a stern but a bit confused expression on his face.

"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" He asked me, and I opened my mouth just to close it again.

Somehow, in the silence, in that second, I missed the rain, because just now, I realize that the sky wasn't crying, wasn't sad, and wasn't to make me feel lonely, it was protecting me, protecting us.

Until now.

Chapter 13: Part 4- His story

Blind, it is called the one who does not see that what is too good is almost impossible, or not. The one who does not understand that everything that is too good always ends, probably, very quickly.

But you know what? This dream actually happens in reality, and it lasts the same amount of time of a real dream, illusion, mirage, that's what it's beautiful about it, but when you realize that everything that has happened is really just too good to be true, then that's just the start.

You've arrived just at the beginning of a real nightmare.

'Blessed are those who do not wake up, the rest are doomed.'

…*…

Pain dominates my entire body now because of my short but quick running, or more because of my short blind happiness; because now I'm staying in front of a stranger, while I'm wearing only boxers and a shirt too big for me and with a pain that I could not explain to him, however, the confusion and millimeter fear created by the tone of his voice, that sadly for me, it resembles very much with the tone of my dead father, and that's why, it completely petrified me, which is a good thing for him, but nothing good for me.

'Move!' I ordered myself, but without any visible results.

"Are you deaf? I asked who you are. And how did you get in this apartment without my permission? Or do you have permission from my son?"

The man asked me and I understood immediately.

'This man is Cloud's father.'

"I am ..." I began to speak, a bit comforted by the new information, or so I thought until I couldn't speak anymore, not even with a trembling voice, his intense attentive eyes burning me.

Although I wanted to say that I am innocent, just a friend who slept overnight, although I did not like to tell just half of the truth but this time, the whole truth is simply unspeakable; still, above everything, we are friends, but I also automatically realized that I do not know even know Cloud's family name, so I can't address to his father properly.

But normally, if we would've met in normal circumstances, then he would've told me his whole name. No?

'But I still don't know why he was in the hospital in the first place…'

And my silence only prolongs his disbelief for my words.

'What kind of friend am I? I do not know his family name, what chance do I have for this man to believe me? What proof do I have? Wait, I just slept with him ... and I actually know almost nothing about him, the only proof is the pain of my back that he also can't feel...'

I immediately panicked, while I felt my hands suddenly sweating.

I contradicted each and every idea that appeared into my mind, until I declared war against myself, while the silence was extended enormously in reality. I was back to reality only after the man has started talking in a firm and serious tone.

"You refuse to answer me and if I do not get an answer in this second, I announce you that I'll call the cops. If you're not his friend, then you can only be a thief."

I wanted to contradict him, realized that my stupid silence is completely misunderstood, and while I decided what I can say and what I cannot has already put me in a worse situation than the previous, which was also in a critical state.

"But I'm not… I am his…"

But the man continued to talk and I reduced myself to silence once again, but this time, curious and attentive to Cloud's father speech:

"At first you had the nerve to rob the house of the son of a respectable politician man, when this is simply crazy, and then you refuse to answer me. You are pure filth! Nothing! I can crush you just by saying one word. You just don't know with whom you've messed."

'Only ... Why ...?'

My thoughts got stuck while I'm floating on black, while I feel absolutely nothing.

Although he does not know anything about me, he is the kind that believes that the wealth is above the poor, and above everything else existent, because after all, I am poor, but no, I have no reaction. I just don't know how to react.

'I cannot believe that this man is his father! My father was just the same ... This can't be happening.'

I thought in mere seconds until everything listened to the new person, who now struggles to open the front door, again, which was also behind the man that also watched it patiently.

But I still barely registered what I was told.

'The son of a wealthy politician?'

The question continued to bother me, to appear and reappear in my mind.

Until the one who tried to open the door so far has succeeded.

'Cloud ...'

My whole being dared to whisper his name slowly, but continuously.

But by the time when my thoughts were left unsaid, in reality someone else's mouth said them, the voice of someone else, not mine.

"Cloud."

His voice is colorless, the same tone he used with me, a stranger, and he also uses it with his son.

"Welcome home."

His voice is not warm, but cold, false, re-bound, just ... horrible.

"Dad? What are you doing here?"

Then the voice of Cloud, with a tone that I have never heard before, he never used it with me and I don't think he used it with anyone else besides his father.

"I came to visit, and look what I found!" He said, pointing at me while I realized that for ten minutes I did not move and just watched, listened, questioned, and seemed to be completely petrified.

But before Cloud could tell something, exactly what had happened to me, it also happens to him; his father spoke with a tone that cannot be ignored and also, he spoke above everybody else, even above his son.

"A thief! A miserable! I think he steals your clothes!"

Cloud had an unreadable expression on his face, although I realized that he looks exactly like me, pale like his immaculate white shirt that I wear, and also he's a bit sweaty, but without reaction.

Somehow a fear arose in my mind above this whole stupidity:

'He'll put me in jail for nothing.'

But his father was incredibly sure in what he was saying, while I didn't say anything and neither Cloud, but I somehow waited, because I am a stranger and he is his son, so the man will believe his own son, not me. I suppose.

But Cloud just watched me. Silent.

We were not friends for years, but I've seen him in many ways: nervous, sad, funny, sleeping, hungry, vindictive, competitive, and in love.

And many other states, but in this state? Never. He's always jumped when there was something he did not agree with, regardless of where they are, no matter what happens, or who is involved, I was not even an exception when he didn't agree with me. But was he ever silent? Never.

And everything was a lie, something he honestly told me that he hates.

However, now his father has a totally wrong concept about me, but he does not react. It's not like he's supposed to tell him that we're together, eventually, maybe, or not, but even if he never told me that he likes me or that...

'He loves me? Or everything was just a nightstand? He's rich and his father has a horrible personality, so maybe, just maybe…No, no, and no! '

Shock! That was all I felt, that was all that I was in.

"This is outrageous! I knew that the thieves were of the lowest class, but I never thought that they even steal your clothes! And look at him; he doesn't even have the courage to run away! A coward! This is…"

The man continued and never stopped, but he basically said the same things using too many words, so his voice transformed into pure background until Cloud has finally spoken:

"Father."

However, the man didn't stopped talking at all. It was as if he was more fueled now.

"Such disgrace and such a disgusting society with…"

"Father!"

The voice that I knew echoed in the room. The man stopped talking and I hardly stopped myself from smiling because I was still not sure of what he was about to say.

"Son, this is the truth, what…"  
"No! This is not the truth!"

Cloud yelled again but this time, I couldn't but to smile. I was completely filled with relief.

"This boy is my… my friend, and I will not allow you to talk about him like he's some trash!"

"This boy? Your friend? But I never saw him in the meetings! What's his family name? But I never forget such things or important faces and I…"

"Father, he's not one of the rich puppets of the society."

Cloud responded, and he's rather calm, even though I could tell that the remark wasn't used for the first time because his father immediately reacted and this time, with a visible frown on his perfectly stoic face.

"Then he's nothing. Why not become friends with …"

"I won't be friends with any of the rich ingrate brats!" He yelled to his father.

The old man no longer looks at his son, but to me. With bored eyes and with an expression on his face that it's showing his total disinterest, he looked me up and down.

Then he looked into my eyes, forcing me to watch myself in his eyes, but this did not last more than one second, the intercalation of our eyes, but it was enough for me to see the only message conveyed within the eyes of a father:

-You're just dirt. You do not deserve my son.-

And for the first time in my life, I was ashamed of me.

After that, he looked at his son; his attention is totally captured by anything but me.

'For him, I do not exist.'

And then, I could not take my eyes off the floor.

It was the last time when this man, when I, or when we, have ever looked at each other.

"Son, what is this unsalted joke? I will not recognize poverty as someone, or something in the life of my family. So be honest with me, he is here to clean?"

His voice was full of irony, of pure evil, and although I was still not without the right to watch them, I could see his defiant eyes in my mind.

"Yes, you will, because I care about this person and I will not give up on it."

So sure of himself and sharp, his voice filled me with happiness but also fear.

His father's eyes were the eyes of a man that always gets what he wants.

'He could kill us both, Cloud, I will not blame you if you give up on me. I'll be fine. Just let me get out of here!'

I give up so quickly and I already hated me for it, but all I could do was to close my eyes tight and listen while I was aware. Aware of a pain from a wound on my head, the scar that remained after my father almost killed me with his bottle.

'It's the pain in my mind? Or the wound is open? How is it possible? '

I put my hand on my head to check, and then I looked at it.

'Nothing.'

"I love him."

I heard these words that seemed distant. Fear absorbed my ears, and my attention was on my imaginary wound while the conversation never stopped, and the only words that made me attentive were those three.

I looked up at Cloud. That looked at me with an innocent pure smile and kind beautiful eyes.

"You love a poor man?"

Words filled with hatred made me shiver.

And in the next seconds, Cloud was slammed to the wall by his father's fist that has hit his left cheek.

I do not know when or how, but very soon, I was in front of Cloud who was still down, and I protect him from the blows his father.

But it did not take long, because Cloud cast me aside once realized what was happening.

"Stop! You do not solve anything by beating me! You don't understand? Because of you she left us! You broke this family! You have lost your wife, now you want to lose your son too!"

The man took a few steps back, as Cloud stood before me, highly protective, while I was still on the floor with a little blood flowing from a wound that I could not identify.

"Yes! You are the same as your mother! Two whores!"

"Do not dare!"

'You also grew up without mother Cloud? That's why you understand me so well? 'The thought was quiet while my hatred for Cloud's father also grew, stronger but silent.

"Choose! Now! I, your father, or this miserable bum?"

"I do not have to answer you. My mother already answered your question for me too, and she did the best decision from her entire life."

Cloud said with a cold voice, ironic but sincere in the same time. Then he knelt in front of me, and began looking if I am injured, or at least I think so, I was too stunned by everything that happens in my face while the old man still did not move.

And with the same cold voice he spoke to his son:

"I do not want to see your face ever again, even after I die. I want you to leave this apartment until tomorrow, and also I inform you that you will not receive money from me, never again, and from now, you're not my son. You are nothing but trash."

Cloud's father slammed the door behind him.

It was the last time when I saw him.

After that, everything moved quickly and somehow odd, without questions.

We did not talk while we did the same things, extremely sure of every action, as if we speak through telepathy, by looking in each other's eyes. Talking without a word said, not even one sound.

We took a shower together. We washed each other on the back, in the pure comfortable silence.

Then we dressed together.

His dark brown eyes and his black hair, his piercings in both ears and on his bottom lip and even on his right eyebrow, a black cross hanging from his left earlobe fits nicely with the rest.

We share a long striped scarf in black and white at our necks, as if it is connecting us.

Just now I realize that I'm a bit shorter than him, he is taller, and I have a different hair style, a dark red color, and my eyes are a dark green, my mothers. I also have piercings but not as many as him, one on my right eyebrow and in my ears.

However, our styles are very much alike, like we are in one piece, not two, and the one scarf which we both wear, connects us.

Our clothes are also alike, after all, I wear his clothes, with dark colors but simple in some way, that if you don't observe the jeans with holes.

And so we both left the house, hand in hand. On the streets, and after a long time of wondering all around the town, with nothing in our pockets and with no destination at all, something has finally happened:  
"Hey, Blondie!" Cloud yelled after a blond boy that said that he recognizes it.

"Wait a minute!" I also yelled after the same boy while we were already both running after him.

But he continued to walk ahead.

It was a rainy day; the pavement was wet because of the rain that has stopped. The bridge made of grey stone, our new home, and the streets where cars often pass by even if there are not many at all, make noises that we don't even hear anymore, it became like air, everything is grey like the clouds above my head.

"Stay put for one damn minute!" Cloud screamed again when we were in front of him, stopping him in place.

Large and bright blue baby eyes blinked open at us for the first time. Like a butterfly opened its wings in front of us, to fly.

To be continued…

It took forever to end these 4 parts, and not to mention, this chapters. Problems with the still horrible computer! That's why it took so much! It's horrible to write with this stupid thing….

I was fooled by my father when he said he'll buy one, that's why I waited for him to buy one, but no. And no one's to blame for my computer so I wrote another chapter with this…God…I won't swear…again.

Still, sorry for taking so long and sorry for the mistakes in this chapter, no beta, no patience to correct it again with this computer…

Hope everybody likes the chapter.

And by the way! Happy New year everyone! See you next year!


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